The Road To Hell
by dont-let-him-take-you-from-me
Summary: The Salvatore Brothers are having the time of their lives- they are in love and in pursuit of their dreams, but what happens when war comes knocking at their door and they have to make the hard choice to sacrifice themselves to keep each other safe? Will the will for life and their loved ones be enough to give them the strength they need to survive? Defan AU (datherine and stelena)
1. A Little Thing Called War

Hello! I am back with a new story, don't worry I'm working on The Truth, I've been working on this one for a long time, please review and rate and let me know if I should continue, your reviews and fave mean the world to me! Thank you!

 _All wars are civil wars because all men are brothers- Francious Fenelon_

 **May 10** **th** **1941**

I feel a tear spring down my cheek as I quickly brush it away. You're not allowed to cry, men don't cry. I remind myself as I pack up the last of my things. We're shipping out in three days, the recruiter had told me. Three days to pack up all my stuff and tell my finance good bye. I grab my journal and being to write in it:

 _My name is Damon Salvatore and this story will be short but sweet, let's start to where I was born. Well, I was born in New York, the son of a shoemaker and the son of an house wife. I was home schooled all through my life except when I hit college, they accepted me into Yale, as a lawyer, my mother could never be prouder, my father is a different story. I have a brother, Stefan, 20, he's a passionate fellow, healthy, he spends his free time as an intern medic for the Charles Memorial Hospital but he wants to go to Yale and become a doctor. I always tease him that maybe the hospital will send him overseas after his training and he can patch me up. My parents weren't too happy that I decided to join, but hey, someone had to do it. In my own eyes I was protecting my family. I was willing to die for my country, the country that gave me and my family a life, we came over on the boat, our ancestors-_

Suddenly two frail hands cover my eyes and I smile at the intruder, dropping the pen of the page I am writing. .

"And who is this?" I wonder out loud.

Her small giggle makes the smile on my lips go wider.

"Hmm Elena?" I ask, teasing her, Elena is Stefan's girlfriend, a gifted writer and one of my good friends as well.

She scoffs.

"And why would I be my boring twin sestra?" She says in her thick Bulgarian accent, she only uses this voice with me when she's upset, and I know why.

I grab her hands and kiss her palms, turning around to face her.

She gives me a sly smile.

I take her in, her black curly hair braided down her back, her checkered dress showing off her long legs, her heels, clicking against the floor as I stare at her. She is always impatient with me which makes me smile. Her eyebrows furrow at my expression as I stare into her brown eyes. This was the girl I was going to marry.

"Katherine." I say, winking at her.

She breaks into a smile, ruffling my hair like a child.

"My sweet , sweet finance." She says getting closer with every word, she presses a chaste kiss to my lips.

"That's me." I say out of breath, because every time she kisses me she manages to take my breath away.

She reaches up and cups my cheeks, her engagement ring, a small diamond grazes against my cheek bone.

"I'm so glad to see you." I say sincerely, smoothing back some falling pieces of her braid.

"Me too." She whispers, closing her eyes.

I brush away an oncoming tear from her face.

"Shh.." I whisper as I stand up, pulling her close.

She whimpers in my arms, finally letting out all of her anger and sadness on me.

I hold her as she cries, feeling sad myself.

"Hey, I'll be okay, I always am, remember when I broke my arm last year and you told me I'd never recover, well, look at me, good and strong as new." I remind her, stroking her silky hair between my fingers.

She laughs which causes her to hiccup and breathe in and out in a haste.

"P-please come back to me, not just for your brother or your family but... for this." She whispers into my ear, guiding my hand to her mid-section.

I swallow hard, looking into her teary eyed face.

"Katherine... are you." I start to say but she puts a finger to my shaky lips.

She nods, slowly, a smile appearing on her face.

"Th-at's." I cough, trying to get the words out because I am shaken as well, we were going to have a baby and I was leaving, I was headed off to war to probably get killed, never being able to know my son or daughter.

"That's wonderful." I say sincerely, smiling up at her.

I was going to be a father.

"I found out a few days ago, I wanted to tell you Damon, but I wasn't sure you'd want to leave after that and I know how much fighting in this war means to you.." She whispers in a hushed tone.

I nod, confirming that it does.

"Who else knows?" I ask closing my eyes.

"No one." She says, tracing my cheek with her finger.

"We must not tell my family, they aren't ready for this kind of news." I say, wiping the tears from her face.

She nods, but her face begins to crumple.

"And how do you suppose we hide this?" She asks, furrowing her eyebrows.

I try to think of what we can say and do and I come up blank, my hands shaking at this unexpected news.

I take her hands in mine and will myself to relax.

"I promise I will make a honest women out of you Katherine, I know it's going to be hard but I need you to hold on, you might need your family more than you think." I say, smiling sad.

I knew Katherine hated her family, besides Elena, her mother was far too judgmental, same as her father, they were religious fanatics, if they even caught word she was pregnant, I'm sure they'd throw her out on the streets.

She shakes her head.

"I'm not telling them." She says in a determined voice.

"Hey, hey." I say, pulling her back to me as she tries to get up.

"You don't have to tell them but at least tell Elena." I add, cupping her cheeks in my hands.

She considers my advice for a second, looking into my eyes.

"Okay." She says, smiling a little bit.

"Good." I whisper, kissing her forehead.

"Am.. I interrupting?" We both jump at the voice.

I glance at my door to see it's my mother.

"No, come in, mother." I say, standing up, next to a sitting Katherine.

She comes in and looks at the both of us, we're both crying and she knows why.

"Hello Katherine." My mother greets with a warm smile.

Katherine wipes her tears and stands up as well, nodding at my mother.

"Hello Mrs. S-." She starts to say but my mother waves her hand.

"You don't have to polite, we're practically family, dear." She says as she walks to Katherine, pulling her into a tight hug.

I watch Katherine hug my mother back, swallowing back tears.

"Thank you, Lily." She whispers, as my mom rubs her back.

I watch them, admiration in my eyes. I was so glad my mom was accepting of Katherine, usually she did not approve of any women I had brought home over the years. But Katherine, she really treated like her own daughter, the daughter she never had. Same with Elena, things we're getting serious with her and Stefan I could tell, I was waiting for my brother to pop the question or come to me with advice anytime.

My mother pulled away from Katherine, smiling.

"You know I am always here for you, dear." She says, smiling.

Katherine nods and smiles in reply, patting my mother's hand.

"Thank you, Lily." Katherine smiles.

My mother nods and walks out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

We both sigh in relief.

"I wonder if she wanted to talk to me about something." I say in a daze, looking over at the door.

"Probably." Katherine says, sitting down on my bed again.

I sit down with her, putting my arm around her, gently.

"Hey, it's all going to be okay." I reassure her.

She nods, smiling up at me.

"I know." She says in a sad tone, leaning in and kissing my cheek.

I smile, still dumbfounded at this news she just told me.

"Do you want a boy or girl?" I keep my voice extra low to ward off anyone that is listening outside my door.

She shrugs and lays down on my bed and I join her, keeping my arm wrapped around her.

"I want it to be healthy, for sure." She whispers, closing her eyes.

"Of course." I whisper back, kissing her cheek as we lay there.

"I guess I'd want it to be a boy, and have your black hair and beautiful blue eyes, so he will remind me of you while you are away so long." I feel her smile against my chest, as I stroke her hair.

She peers up at me after a while, smiling.

"I just- I'm still so shocked, Katherine." I whisper, tears threaten to prick at my eyes.

"I know, me too." She admits.

"It's wonderful." I assure her again.

"I know I'm happy too, it's just I know you have to leave..." She says with a sad smile.

"I know but I will be back as soon as I can... you'll have Elena and Stefan, I'm sure they will be overjoyed about this news." I say, adding a little sarcasm at the end.

"Yeah, I know." She says, sighing.

"I can picture it now Elena making you try on maternity clothes, picking out names for you, helping you organize the baby shower." I laugh, my soon to be sister law was always so optimistic. I could see that was one of the reasons why Stefan loved her so much.

Katherine groans.

"I know she means well but sometimes I just want to wring her pretty little neck." She says, while I smile, forcing myself not to laugh.

Katherine gives me a pointed look while poking me in the chest.

I fake a gasp

"Miss Petrova is that any way to treat your finance?" I ask, looking at her.

She gives me an evil smile and turns her head away.

"Oh, I'm going to get you back."

"Wait- Damon-n-." She starts to say

But before she can get another sentence out I grab her hips, tickling her stomach.

She laughs, thrashing around on the bed, while I hold her in place.

"Damon! Damon stop." She laughs harder trying to get away from me.

"Oh, nope not until you be nice to me." I laugh, blowing kisses on her tummy.

For a second I zone out and think about how big she's going to get without me here, how I won't feel the baby's first kick, or even know if it's going to be a boy or a girl, or be around to get Katherine's every want and desire during the pregnancy, hell I won't even see her hormones take over, and believe it or not I even want to be there for that.

I think she notices I'm lost in thought, because she gently shakes my shoulder.

"Damon, you okay?" She asks, furrowing her eyebrows in concern.

"Yeah." I say, a sad smile on my lips.

I can tell she doesn't want to talk about me leaving so I drop it.

"I better get going, actually." She says, standing up, smoothing down her dress.

"Yeah." I say distracted a little.

"I'll see if I can sneak out tonight." She promises, pecking my lips.

I nod, returning her kiss for a little bit, her teeth graze my lower lip and I lean in, pressing my chest against hers.

I am going to miss her so damn much.

She pulls back, our foreheads touching.

I smile as she smiles and she pulls completely back, grabbing her purse.

I walk her out, letting go of her hand, sighing a little, watching her walk away.

I go back inside and shut the door, leaning against it.

Suddenly my little brother appears out of nowhere.

"Hey, Stef." I greet him, surprised to see him here, I thought he'd be at the hospital, volunteering.

"Hey, Day." He says, smiling at me.

I smile back, trying not to let the unexpected news I have just received show on my face, I wanted Elena to know first since Katherine was carrying our child.

"I thought you'd be at the hospital?" I ask, looking into my little brother's green eyes.

He shrugs, "Elena and I were going to go take a walk.." He says, distracted.

I gently lay my hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, you alright?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

He nods. But I know that exact expression on his face: guilt.

I wonder what had happened.

"Hey, I'll talk to you later, okay?" He says, walking away, with a extra broody face.

Something was bothering him and it was irking me that he would not tell me right away, usually Stefan told me every thing but now he didn't.

I was going to see if he was okay, I hate seeing Stefan so sad like this, usually he was a light, carefree, person but now he looks like he's harboring the largest secret known to man.

I had to know what was going on with him.

I follow him out to the road and he stops and whips around to face me.

"I said I didn't want to talk right now, Damon." He grits his teeth at me.

"Stefan, come on, tell me." I say, walking with him down the road.

"No. I'm meeting Elena." He says, walking a bit faster.

I stare at him hurt, a little, I understand he liked the girl and she is one of my closest friends but doesn't he know blood is thicker then water, didn't he understand that I was leaving soon? Probably off to get killed and he was playing pretend with Elena. I needed him, I need my brother, I would never admit this to him but he has become my rock in so many things. When I fell and broke my elbow who was there with the doctor? Stefan. When I almost got ran over by a carriage, who was there to pull me back? Stefan. When I got into a huge fight with my father over my future, who defended me? Stefan.

"Stefan, please." I say, stopping him gently with my hand.

"I said no!" He yells, pushing past me.

Whatever is bothering him it's cutting him deep inside.

* * *

I watch him walk away, a sad smile appears on my lips.

I walk back into the house, sighing deeply.

"Hello son." My mother greets me a smile appearing on her lips.

I smile at her, and kiss her warm cheek.

"You wanted to talk mother?" I ask, looking at her beautiful face.

My mother and I were always close compared to my father, we saw things eye to eye as father and I didn't. My mother always protected me from bullies, strangers, even girls, she's intervened in my relationships one or twice and though I was mad at her the first two times, I realize that I was letting love blind me. I was a love struck fool when it came to love, I even believed in love at first sight. I have had my fair share of stories about heartbreak. But last last summer when I met Katherine Petrova, I knew I was doing something right. She was a high class lady who didn't give much boys attention, in fact it took me a lot of time to get her attention but once I did we were smitten for each other, going to dances, sneaking into movies, dancing in the rain on a hot July night. We share so many good memories and this baby is just the icing on the cake. Katherine has stuck through me by anything, if it was stress for exams she'd come over early and help me study, if it was I didn't have much to eat at the house, she'd come by and cook my favorite breakfast, she was a bombshell, a beaut and I could not be more luckier to have her in my life.

I knew I was making the right choice when I asked her to marry me on that cool August night in the back of the car we were sitting in. I remember it like it was yesterday.

"Damon, where are you taking me now, you know I hate surprises." she giggled as she put her bare feet up on my dash.

"Well, I thought we could watch the sun set." I state as I eye her red dress, hugging her curves in all the right places.

She smiles and nods, leaning into my chest.

"You know I love the sunset, even though there is darkness and and hard times and doubt in a relationship.. but that is normal. What I like best is when the light comes and takes it all away, and you, Katherine you have become my light.. in more ways then one.. and I love you very very much.

She glances over at me, confused by this sudden speech.

"So, I guess what I'm asking is.. will you marry me?" I say, nervously.

Her stare goes blank for a second and I worry she's going to reject me but slowly a smile breaks out on her face.

"Yes, you idiot I will marry you." She says, laughing at me.

I smile as I take her frail hand in mine, slipping the diamond ring on her finger.

She giggles and pulls me into a long kiss, I pull back as breathless as she is.

"You're my light too." She whisper, kissing me again.

Suddenly I am snapped out of my daydream when my mom is waving her hand in front of my face.

"Damon are you okay? You just zoned out for five seconds." She asks, worried.

I nod and explain to her what I was day dreaming about.

She smiles at me, understanding.

"You and Katherine make a great team." She says, smiling a little.

I knew how much the pain of me leaving would scar my mother, she was my mentor, my confidant, without her I don't know where I would be in this world today. And yes, it was very true Katherine and I make a fantastic team, I knew I was marrying the right girl if my mother approved.

"I love her mom, I kind of feel like I never knew what love was before, but with her, she showed me, she brought me back so many times, she's protected me, defended me, I can honestly say she is the girl of my dreams. I am excited for this matrimony. But mom, I need to talk to you about something, I know you already will but please watch over her mom, I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost her especially being so far away! Just please promise me you'll watch over her." I say, shaking a little bit as tears prick my eyes.

My mother studies my face for a second, noticing my tears.

"I promise, Damon, I had already planned to, Katherine is like family." She says, pulling me into a tight embrace.

I finally let out all the frustration and worry and anger and anxiety I had been holding in for the last couple of weeks.

My mother holds me as I weep into her dress, I almost feel like 8 again, crying to mom about the bullies and all the bad things that happened to be at school. Here in my mom's arms I find a little bit of peace and relief, for which I am grateful.

"You'll come back to Katherine and you brother and father and I and maybe you'll decide to start a family, give your father and I some grandchildren."

My sigh deep in her arms, full of dispute I can't tell my own mom that she will be blessed with a beautiful grandchild,

"Yes, momma." I say, pulling back and wiping away my stray tears.

She smiles and ruffles my hair.

"That is what I wanted to talk to you about, I knew you were holding in all these things, I know how much you hate bothering people with your problems." She says.

I nod in agreement I wasn't much of a talker, more a listener, I preferred to pretend everything was alright and ignore it.

I'm about to speak up and answer my mother when I hear the front door slam shut.

Stefan is home.

"Excuse me, mother." I say, standing up in a haste.

She nods at me and I exit the room, walking down the hall to the stairs.

I listen carefully to see if he is still down there.

"Stefan?" I call out, walking down the stairs.

When I get down to the last step, I see he is crouched in the corner holding his head in his hands.

I rush to him and put my hand on his sweaty back.

"Stefan are you okay?" I ask, worried.

When we were kids Stefan always had terrible anxiety and usually when he was having a panic attack he was always in this position.

I kept my hand on his back like I always did when we were kids.

"Stefan." I repeat, getting closer to his ear so that he can hear me.

He groans like he's in pain, breathing in and out, but his breaths become shallow with each intake.

I put my hand on his shoulders to get him to face me but he swats them away.

"Damon.. I can't breathe." He gasps, still crouched in the corner, sweat drops dripping down his rather pale face.

"Come on." I say, grabbing his hand gently, and leading him upstairs, he obeys surprisingly, I did not want mother or father to hear what was going on with him.

When we get to my room, I shut the door but he's still breathing heavily, against the door. At least his hands are off his head.

"Stefan, please calm down." I say in a pained voice, feeling helpless.

"I c-can't. Damon I'm going to die." He yells, holding his head again.

"You're not going to die, you're having a panic attack." I assure him, stepping closer to him.

"No, it's really bad Day, I feel like I'm drowning." He gasps, as he punches the wall.

It wasn't rare for Stefan to hit things when he has a panic attack but I still jump at the sound.

"Stefan, please calm down." I say in a short sentence, rubbing his back.

"Damon, I can't see! It's blurry." He whines, crying into the wall.

I sigh a little, feeling as helpless as usual, I just continue to rub his back gently, while I close my eyes.

His panic attacks didn't last long and they always stopped but I knew they took a lot out of him.

He groans In frustration, hitting his head with his hands, his knuckles bloody from where he punched the wall.

I grab his shoulders, shaking him now he needed to get out of this state.

"Stefan, hey, brother, look at me." I say, tightening my grip on his shoulders.

He looks down, avoiding my face, I knew he felt shame having these attacks, our father taught us real men don't worry, they just conquer, if you had any type of anxiety or worry then you weren't a true man, I knew Stefan struggled with this every day.

He finally looks up, his green eyes meeting my blue ones.

I can see the sadness in his eyes, the grief, and for once I don't know what to do.

"Damon.." He says my name slowly, as he finally registers who I am, who brought him back to reality once again.

I nod slowly, waving my hand in front of his face.

"Deep breaths, Stefan remember in and out." I say, a look of worry apparent on my face.

He struggles with the first two breaths but as I do them along with him, I feel his body began to relax, I almost sigh in relief but then a certain sadness washes over me.

What was Stefan to do when I was away? Who would help him with his anxiety? I pray to God, Elena knew about it. Maybe I would tell her, make her understand that she needs to be there for him when I can't.

He's finally relaxed and just staring at me with sad eyes.

"What happened?" I ask, breaking the silence.

"Did you not take your anxiety meds today?" I continue, scolding him.

"I didn't want to take them." He says, his voice hoarse from all the yelling he did.

"Why not, Stefan?" I ask, concerned.

He shrugs a little and I stare at him patiently waiting for the truth.

"I just- I didn't want to take them today." He says, clearing his throat.

Damn you, Stefan, why did he have to be so rebellious at times.

"Well, you're lucky I was there." I continue and he hangs his head in shame again.

The appearance of him breaks my heart a little but I have to be firm with him.

"Stefan, what happened?" I repeat, placing my hand on his knee, in support.

He shrugs it off again and I sigh deep.

"You know... you can tell me anything, brother." I look up at him, hurt he won't just open up to me like he used to.

"Grant Fitzgerald." He mumbles, yanking up the sleeves to his sweater vest, I knew this is what he did when he got nervous too.

"What about him?" I press on.

He stares down, avoiding my intense gaze.

"Stefan, what about Grant?" I ask, pressing my hands on his shoulder, to get him to look up at me.

When he does he's got tears in eyes, his lips trembling and it's almost like he's seven again crying over split milk, I loosen my grip on his shoulders.

"He's dying." He whispers, his face crumpled in pain.

I take my hands off his shoulders, in shock.

"G-grant." I sigh, I feel my heart skip a beat.

"He-he's dying." I say again, sitting down on my bed, along Stefan.

"Damon, he's dying." Stefan confirms, looking over at me with a sad expression.

"No, he can't be! We were supposed to go to the army together!." I suddenly stand up rage goes through me.

"Damon." Stefan says, standing up along with me.

"No, he's not dying, you're lying!" I say, again, rage flows through my veins.

"I wouldn't lie, Damon please sit." Stefan says, in a worried tone.

"How long did you know?" I ask, my eyes closed.

"I found out today, he told me, we ran into each other and he was coming back from meeps, they told him he had stage two liver cancer." Stefan explains, placing his hand on my shaking shoulder.

"No.. he's- he's my best friend, he can't be dying, stage two? Are you sure?" I ask, facing Stefan.

"Yes, Damon... I'm sorry." He says, gently wrapping his arms around me to pull me into a tight embrace.

I allow myself to relax, letting him hold me, I knew he was just as torn up about this as me, Grant was one of our closets friend's through out our lives, he's been in our lives since he was a seven year old brat that I had beat up for teasing Stefan and then instantly we became best friends with him. He was like a brother to both of us and to hear the news that he had stage two cancer tore me in half, I had to see him.

"Where is he staying?" I ask, standing up.

"down on third." Stefan says, and I know exactly where that is.

"Okay, I'm going to go down there." I say, looking at Stefan, his expression softens.

"Okay, I will go later. I'm kind of hungry." He says, fidgeting with his sweater again.

"Okay, Stef, promise you'll eat." I say, in a serious tone.

He nods, distracted again and I stand up and pull him into a quick hug.

He smiles a little as we pull back.

"I love you, brother." I say, as I go to my drawer and pull out some paper towels for his cut.

"I love you, too." He responds in a sincere tone.

I hand him the paper towels.

"Okay and don't forget to put peroxide on your cuts." I remind him and he rolls his eyes.

"I got it, Damon, go see Grant, go." He shoos me with his unwounded hand and I smile, walking out the door.

One thing was certain: I would not be able to live without Stefan.

 _ **Stefan**_

After I say goodbye to Damon, I walk back downstairs, putting on the fake smile I use for everyone, a million thoughts are going through my head and I calm myself down, closing my eyes, my hand finds the table, gripping it, tightly. I feel my head pound as my nails dig into the wood.

Damon was leaving, I couldn't pretend anymore, he was leaving in three days, I'm not ready.

I'm not ready to sit at the dining room table and stare at him empty seat, or wake up in the middle of the night, and wander the halls only to see his caring face usher me back to bed, while comforting me. I'm not ready to see him off. My mind knows at least this, the rest of my thoughts are scrambled, Grant having cancer was the worst news I could present to Damon at this time, but I wasn't sorry for telling him, he needed to know.

My walk with Elena today was promising, she was talking about her creative writing class and having to write a tragedy I half-jokingly told her that is my life and she stopped in the middle of the forest, a her brown eyes showing sadness in them and nervousness written on her beautiful face. We did not talk much, because I felt my face heat up with anger but what she did tell me was to carry on, make it through, she sympathizes with me but I wasn't feeling any better until she held me in her warm embrace. Elena, she was kind, selfless, a good listener, beautiful, talented. I don't know how I landed such a catch like her. I was completely in love with her and she was in love with me, but I wasn't ready to open up to her like I was with my brother. I was afraid she would run away at all the dark secrets and insecurities I have hidden so well.

I stop gripping the wood and see my nails have made indents on the wooden table, I sigh a little, father and mother must not see because it will worry them. I wash my cuts I got from punching the wall earlier and head outside, to my favorite tire swing. I know I am 20 but I still love to play on the tire swing Damon and I built when we were just kids. I smile thinking of old memories with my eldest brother, God, I was going to miss him so much, but I had to be strong for him.

I check my pocket watch and see I have to be back at the hospital in ten minutes, there was going to be a meeting of some sort and my mentor said I had to be there. I swing a little bit on the tire swing, to calm my nerves and then head back into the house, putting on my wool brown coat and looking in the mirror, inspecting my appearance, when it is up to par I exit the door and walk down the street, it's a three block hike to the hospital but I go with a bounce in each step, hoping I get there in time. I wanted to be a doctor for as long as I could remember so when the opportunity presented itself I took it fast. My father's friend got me into this hospital: Charles Memorial Hospital and I have been working there as an intern ever since, they are pleased with my talent of dressing wounds and cleaning them, even if it is a bloody mess, lately we have gotten many recruits from war come in and I have to hide every emotion I am feeling because sometimes I picture them as Damon, bleeding out to death on the table. I cringe at the thought and shake my head, walking into the main entrance of Charles Memorial. The security guard greets me with a smile and I smile back, grabbing my clip board off the desk.

When I get to the room where the meeting is being held, I sit down at the long wooden table, in the creaky gray fold out chair and balance my clip board on my lap, waiting patiently for the chief of surgery to make an appearance.

"Hello, Stefan." The Chief, Tommy Avery, greets me, as I stand up and shake his firm hand.

"Hello Tom." I say in a serious voice, smiling at him.

"I'm glad you're here, actually." He says, clearing his throat.

I look around the room, confused.

Where was everyone else?

"I guess no one else wanted to volunteer." The chief says, sadly, taking a seat.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Volunteer for what, sir?" I speak up, folding my hands in my lap.

"Well, we need medics on the war sight.." He says, slowly, watching my every reaction.

I clear my throat a little.

"Overseas medics? Sir?" I ask, still furrowing my eyebrows.

He nods. "Yes, there is too many soldiers getting killed over there now, we need more medics to make sure they make it back home."

I stare at him, understanding what he means now.

He wanted to know if I'd go overseas to be a medic.

"The flight would be payed for, you would get money for supplies, you'd work at the hospital on whatever base is there... food in obviously provided for.. " He starts stating the pros but all I can think is I'd be closer to Damon, I'd be able to protect him, maybe even save him if he got hurt.

My face lights up at the thought of being there with him.

"I'll do it, sir." I say, standing up.

"Really?" He asks, delighted at my answer.

I nod.

"Yes, when is the earliest I ship out?" I ask, looking over at him.

He clears his throat again, looking into my eyes.

"Two days..." He says.

I'm taken back a little bit, two days, I'd be leaving two days, before Damon, the thought frightens me a little bit, but I remind myself that I was doing this for him, to defend him. My mind wanders to Elena and a certain sadness overcomes me, she will be without me for awhile.. I mean we just started dating a few months ago, but I knew she was the one right away, could I leave her just like that? But then I remember that she doesn't know much about me, and probably doesn't care to. She would be fine without me, she'd move on and find someone better.. someone who could protect her and take care of her and not be an idiot signing myself up to get killed.

The chief gives me the rest of the details, and I write them down on my clipboard, once he says I can go, I walk away, praying to God, Damon wasn't going to kill me for making this decision.


	2. Fight For Me

_**Review and rate?**_

" _ **I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep lead by a lion."- Alexander The Great**_

 _ **Damon**_

I take the train to the other side of town, to the hospital.

My mind is going crazy as I think about all the possibility of Grant dying.

This guy was supposed to join the army with me, supposed to calm my nerves, tell me I'm not going to die and here he was laying on a hard bed, time passing slowly, as the cancer takes every last part of him.

I watch him sleeping peacefully, as I sit down on the metal chair beside his bed.

Oh, Grant, you had so many plans for your life, just like me, and now you'll never be able to explore them.

I put my head in my hands, calming my beating heart.

I hear a groan as I lift my head up to meet Grant's blue eyes.

He smiles weakly at me.

"Hey, I thought you'd show up." He says.

I smile back a sliver, running my hand through my messy black hair.

"Hey buddy, how are you feeling?" I ask, scooting closer to his bed.

"Well, I'm very tired, but I'm glad you are here, Damon." He says sincerely.

I nod, smiling a little bit.

"You're gonna make it th-." I start to say but Grant cuts me off with a humored look on his face.

"Damon, I'm dying.. there's no other way to slice it.. I just- promise me one thing." He says, a pained expression on his hollow face.

I want to tell him he's not dying, that everything will be alright, I want to calm his nerves like he did to me all those years, but I find myself, sitting on the chair being helpless and I hate it.

I nod, urging him to go on, tears prick my eyes at the thought of Grant being gone out of my life. To my surprise he raises his body so he is sitting in an half position, his fist elevated to the tiled ceiling above.

"You go to that war and you kick those Russian and German asses, you make them pay, for me. Fight for me, for everything I am, because I can't." He coughs a little and I almost turn away at the sight of blood on his pale hand.

I study his eyes, there is a light in them that I recognize all too well: passion.

"I will." I promise him, clasping him on the shoulder, gently.

"Thank you." He says as he sinks back down on the bed.

I close my eyes and hold his cold hand in mine, he stares at me a smile playing on his almost blue lips.

"If you wanted to hold my hand, Day, all you had to do was ask."

And there he was again, the Grant I beat up for picking on my brother and than became friends with the next day, the guy I went through all my life with, the passionate, firm, justice seeking, hilarious, amazing guy I have known my entire life was now being reduced to a sick, weak,

hopeless shell of a man but he still carried himself so well which I loved.

"I know you're not into sentimental things but Grant, I love you, you are my best friend and I just wanted you to know that, I don't expect you to say anything back and I'm not just saying this because you're dying, you are my best friend, always will be."

He's quiet for a moment as he stares down at the blood on his hand, he raises his eyes to mine and smiles, a heartfelt one this time.

"Thank you, Damon. I love you too man, I'm so proud of you." He says.

I smile too, feeling the tears stream down my cheeks in waves.

"Damon, you don't have to cry, you big sap." He laughs, and it makes me smile.

We spend the rest of the afternoon chatting on about different events that have been happening in town, the latest gossip, I almost bring up the fact that I'm going to be a father but I push it away fearing that he will judge too harshly. We go on to talk about war and ship date and all the nice things, I don't realize it's already five o'clock and the hospital is not allowing visitors at the time. I bid him a goodbye and promise to visit him tomorrow, he just nods and waves.

I make my way back to the train in time, heading to my home. Katherine had promised she'd sneak tonight and I couldn't be more excited by her beautiful presence.

I make my way into the house, and stop to see Stefan with a suitcase, packing away some clothes. I stand behind him, and when he finally turns around and sees me I just raise an eyebrow at him.

He jumps at my presence and scrambles, putting the suitcase aside.

"Hey. Dam." He says, rubbing the back of his neck,

I study his face, he seems nervous about something.

"Stefan.." I greet him, sizing him up in my head.

He smiles, putting his arm around me.

I let him, waiting for him to speak, he must have some great news to tell me.

"What's all this, brother?" I ask him.

"Well.. the hospital needs medics so.. I'm packing for the war." He says, studying my expression carefully.

.Going,To,War, I start to shake my head in utter disbelief. But I stop because I know Stefan is watching me. I feel my jaw twitch.

"And when did you decide this?" I ask, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible.

Stefan crinkles his nose a little, another nervous habit of his.

"Well, today at the meeting.. Tom said we needed medics so I volunteered.. " He starts to say but I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

"And what made you think this was a good idea, Stefan? Hm? You can't even handle the news that our friend has cancer and you're going to go to war now? Are you insane?" I raise my voice and he winces, backing down.

"I can't believe.. I don't even have the words to say to you right now.. why Stefan?" I start ask but he's looking away.

"Why." I repeat again, crossing my arms over my chest, I'm boiling with rage at this point.

Stefan finally looks up at me, tears sting his eyes but I'm too mad to even care.

"Because.. I thought I could protect you." He says.

I shake my head again, looking at him dead in the eye.

"You can't even protect yourself, Stefan, how the hell are you supposed to protect me? That's my job, Stefan, I'm supposed to protect you!" I yell, gritting my teeth together.

Stefan was not going to war, he wasn't going to ruin himself more then he already was, I wouldn't allow it, I know he has such a kind heart and he's selfless but he wouldn't last a minute in the war.

"You're being mean, Damon." He says, looking at me.

"I'm just telling the truth, Stefan.." I say, putting my hand lightly on his shoulder, it doesn't surprise me when he shrugs it off.

"You know I used to think dad was the worst at tearing me down, but I think you've officially taken his place." Stefan bites back, walking upstairs.

My heart breaks at his newest opinion of me, but the truth was I was so scared for my brother, I wasn't ready to lose him, at least having him here he would be safe but now he was going out in the middle of the danger zone to possibly get himself killed and it hurts to even think about it. Stefan wasn't going to be there for Elena or Katherine, he wasn't going to hold my child and tell them stories of his father back at war. Stefan was leaving, and now I've ruined my relationship with my brother and it was all my fault. Maybe it would be better off if I just died in war or never came home.

I sigh a little and head upstairs to lay on my bed, give Stefan some time to cool off, although he was leaving tomorrow. Tears prick my eyes again and I realize I've lost the most two important people in my life: my brother and my best friend.

 _ **Stefan**_

I slam the front door closed after walking away from my angry brother, my hands shake as I grab the keys to my dad's car. I'm going for a drive to take my mind off things, even though I was leaving in two days, with Damon. I don't understand how Damon could be so mean to me and say all those harsh insecurities that I know he knows I struggle with to my face. I thought he'd be happy that I was making something out of myself instead of being a small town doctor. I would never forget the look of disgust on his face once he registered I was going off to war. I shake my head and get into the car, starting it up. I drive down the street and to the one place I know I won't ever be judged or looked down upon: Elena's.

I get to her door step and knock on the door, praying she answers and not her stuck up parents.

She gets to the door and opens it confused, her long brown hair pulled up into a bun and she's wearing a yellow dress with a jacket over it.  
"Stefan?" She asks, stepping out on the porch with me while closing the door.

"I know it's late but I just had to see you." I say, staring at her.

She tilts her head at me, crossing her arms.

"Is everything alright?" She asks, worried.

I shake my head a little.

"I.. need to tell you something.. come on." I grab her hand and lead her to my car, opening up the door for her, she sits down, the worried expression hasn't left her face.

"What is it?" She asks, as I shut the door of my car, going around and getting into the drivers seat.

I look at her.

"Elena I am in love with you, I don't know how else to say it.. I love everything about you, your smile your laugh, the way you always seem to care about me God knows why but you do..."

I stare at her and the worry slowly decreases from her face.

"Stefan, you're scaring me.." She says.

A smile appears on my lips and then leaves.

"Elena.. I love you, bottom line, I can't thank you enough for always being there for me, always wanting to know if I'm okay, I know we haven't been together that long but you've become the only stable thing in my life at this point, and that is why I have to break up with you.. I'm leaving Elena.. I'm going to war as a medic." I say, studying her face.

A look of hurt passes over her face then sadness.

"And you're telling me this now?' Her voice raises and I wince.

"I just decided this morning, look you could do so much better then me, I promise.. I feel like I have been so selfish with you because I love you so much... but it's over.. it has to be." I say, tears sting my eyes as I watch her face crumble in pain.

"No.." She says, shaking her head, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"It's not over, Stefan, it can't be over." She says, wiping her tears with one hand.

I nod my head yes, tears also spilling down my cheeks.

"Go, live your life don't waste it on me." I say, reaching over and cupping her warm cheeks in my hand.

"Stefan, I know that you never think that you're good enough me, and I don't think I'll ever understand it but I love you and as much as I am angry at you right now, I'm not going to let you slip away from me, just because you're leaving doesn't mean you have to end things with me, I'm scared, I know you're scared, that's why you're doing this but I promise Stefan, I will wait for you, I have found the love of my life.. you. And I know I can't do better, no matter how hard I try. I will wait for you, however long it takes, please don't let us slip away." She whispers, tracing my cheek with her free hand and I close my eyes.

I begin to smile at her confession and I can't think of anything else to say to her so I kiss her tender lips, and slowly she kisses me back, wrapping her arms around my neck, almost like she's scared to lose me because I know she is.

When we pull apart I gasp for breath with her.

"Promise me one thing, though." She whispers, kisses me back.

"Hmm." I say, kissing her back.

"You'll come back to me, medic." She whispers, smiling.

"Of course." I say, smiling with her through the kiss.

And that's all it took for me to know I was indeed leaving the love of my life in a mess, but knowing she was going to wait for me was the best thing she could of given me as a going away present, even though I know she could do so much better..


	3. Wait For Me To Come Home

_Thank you for the follows and fav! that makes a lot to me, guys. Glad you're enjoying this story so far, this chapter is a little different, there's still defan, it contains datherine and datherine smut and fluff, I hope you enjoy it, please review and rate :)_

 _ **Before we go on here's some translations of Italian, really hope I got this right!**_

 _ **Madre: mom**_

 _ **il mio piccolo: my baby**_

 _ **ti amo madre: I love you mom**_

 _Older men declare war but it's youth that must fight and die- Herbert Hoover_

 _ **Damon**_

I lay in bed, with a pounding headache from crying. I was hoping Katherine wasn't going to come over tonight, I didn't want to ruin our goodbye with my senseless crying even though it was my fault to begin with. Although, she always knew how to calm my nerves I didn't want her seeing me like this. I'm scared it might frighten her. I hear a tap on my window and see Katherine's silhouette I stand up and let her in, doing my best to fake being happy. She looks at me, touching my cheek.

"Hi." She whispers, kissing my lips.

I kiss her back, losing myself in her, her everything, the way she tastes on my lips, her arms wrapped around me, our teeth knocking together in the dark, making me feel like we're 17 again. So familiar.

She pulls back and I gently rub her nose against mine, her fingers threaded in my hair.

"Hey." I breathe in her scent, smiling down at her.

She's dressed in a pale blue night gown , her hair long black hair braided in a up-do, framing her face.

"Are you okay?" She whispers as she looks at me.

I nod, smiling down at her.

"Of course Kitten." I say, tracing her cheek with my finger.

"You don't look fine." She says, studying my expression.

I sigh deep, not wanting to talk about today but she makes it so easy just to open up.

"Well.. I haven't had a great day." I trail off.

She raises an eyebrow at me, urging me to go on.

I start off to tell her about Grant in which her arms go automatically around me for comfort, she knows how much Grant means to me.

"I'm sorry, baby." She sighs, holding me on my bed, I wrap my arms around her arms, holding her too.

"I know, me too." I sigh. "But the worst part is Stefan is leaving before me tomorrow."

"What?" She questions, not letting me go.

"Yeah, he's going overseas as a medic he's packed and everything." The pain is evident in my voice, tears threaten to spill over but I hold them in, blinking rapidly, my father's words echo in my mind.  
"Real men don't cry, Damon."

"That's awful, Damon, have you talked to him about it?" She asks, smoothing my hair back.

"No, we got into a huge argument and I feel like I have lost him, Katherine." My voice cracks at the last part.

"You can't lose him, your his brother, Damon." She reminds me.

"Family doesn't mean shit to me." I say, looking at her, and she sighs, understanding what I meant.

Although, my relationship with my mom is very good, the one with my dad was lacking.

"I know, Damon." She says. "But Stefan needs to more then you think." She assures me.

I know this to be true, he is my little brother he needs my protection.

"But I swear, Kat, I don't know what goes on in his head anymore, he's not the same Stefan he's burdened with anxiety and a sort of depression and no matter how hard I try I can't reach him." I say in a sad tone, looking at the ground.

"Hey, he'll come around, do you know how many times Elena and I have fought over dumb stuff? He'll come back to you, Damon, trust me. All you can do is wait." She says.

I sigh deep, putting her hands in mine.

"I know. I know." I say, nodding my head, I didn't really want to talk about it, anymore because the thought saddens me enough as it is.

"Did you tell Elena?" I ask, looking up at her.

Her facial expression changes from determination to fear, she shakes her head.

"No, I haven't.. I can't get the right words to say.." She says, looking at me.

Her hands begin to shake in mine and I kiss her palms.

"I'm sorry.. I just.. I'm scared my parents are going to find out, you'll know they'll throw me on the street. You know this was never in there plans, they barely like you as it and now I'm having a child by you, but I love you Damon, I know I want to be with you and I don't care who have to ignore to make it possible." She says, grasping my hands in hers.

I smile at her confession, rubbing her hands with my thumb.

"I know, Katherine.. I just didn't think it would be this hard.. I'm leaving soon and I want to do right by you, but I don't know how, maybe we should get married tomorrow.." I say but she presses a finger to my trembling lips.

"No, not tomorrow we're not getting married tomorrow, you know why? Because I have hope Damon that you're going to make it back to me and our child, you're going to be there at the airport, and I'm going to run to you with our little boy, and we're going to be a happy family.. and not a damn person can take that dream away from me."

I lean down and kiss her forehead, a tear runs down my cheek and she wipes it away for me.

"I'm glad you feel the same even after seeing me like this." I confess and she smiles up at me, cutely.

"I'll say it again, I love you at your worse and I love you at your best, it's an honor to be your wife." She whispers, kissing my cheek.

I smile a little.

"It's all going to work out, you know you always have a home here." I remind her.

She nods and smiles a little.

"I know."

"Promise me you will if things get too bad." I say, rubbing her lips gently with my thumb, wiping her tears away.

"I promise." She nods.

I smile, leaning in and kissing her again, she kisses me back, I feel her heartbeat pressed against my chest, beating in sync with mine.

I almost imagine a few years, she sitting on the porch with our child, reading them a bed time story as I come home from my firm, a smile tugging on my lips as I watch Katherine soothe our little boy's dark hair from the car, reading to him. I'll get out of the car, and the little boy will look up at me, piercing blue eyes just like his daddy and run to me, and I will lift him up in my arms, spinning him around and around, cherishing that I get to hold him even for a second. I return to reality and gently press my hand to Katherine's stomach, feeling the life that is being born in there and just for a moment I wish more then to hear the baby's heartbeat but I know it is not possible, yet..

She smiles against my lips, touching my hand with her own.

"You're going to be a great, mother." I say sincerely.

"And you are going to be a great father." she tells me.

I smile, warmth in my eyes, as I stare down at her, imagining her pregnant for a second, but the fantasy seizes.

"What are you thinking?" She asks, running her fingers across my hair.

"You being pregnant." I laugh and she laughs too.

"I know it's hard to picture.. ." Suddenly her face lights up with an idea.

"I could send you Polaroids if you want, I know guys will be getting pin ups but you'll have pictures of your pregnant fiance." She teases, looking at me.

I smile a little, holding her in my arms again.

"I'd love that, Katherine." I say as I kiss her hair, breathing in her fresh lemon scent. The scent that always calmed me down, the scent that reminded me of home.

"Then I will do it." She promises.. "Will you write to me often?" She asks, looking up at me.

"As often as I can." I say, playing with her fingers, my thumb brushes against her engagement ring and I smile in her hair.

"Good. I love you." She says, playing with my class ring that I got from graduation.

"I love you too." I say, leaning back so she is pressed against my chest on my bed, I turn her over so she is laying next to me.

My eyelids begin to droop and I know I am tired, she yawns, closing her eyes, against my chest.

"Sleep, Damon, I promise I will be here when you wake up." She says, yawning again.

I nod, wrapping my arms around her, feeling her steady heart beat against my chest, gently it lulls me to sleep.

Slowly my mind takes me to a tent, not just any tent, it's green and surrounded by bushes on either side, I recognize it as the picture's Stefan is always showing me of the medic tent's overseas. I approach the green tent, taking off my battle helmet, I look down and I am dressed in a green army uniform, silver dog tags hang from my neck, identifying me.

I lift open the flap of the tent, going inside, my nose picks up the smell of blood and vomit.

I knew this was the death tent.

I look at all the bodies laid across on a table, I walk down each one, seeing the dog tags, hanging from their feet. I read each name, not recognizing any times, my eyes drift further and I see a silver chain hanging off a foot, I inspect it carefully, picking up the dog tag. My heart skips a beat as I read it to be: Salvatore, Stefan. The body is covered in a white sheet and I hold my breath as I tear off the sheet, seeing my brother, again. His face is calm, but as I peer closer I see there are bullet holes in his head, my eyes scan to his torso, seeing the blood soaking through his uniform. I cringe as I see the blood drip down the table. Slowly he opens his eyes and I jump back, scared out of my mind.  
"Stefan?" I yell, as his eyes find mine.

"You were right, Day, I didn't make it." He whispers, blood begins to spew from his mouth.

"No, Stefan! Please don't leave me, again!" I yell, watching as the blood drips down his chin.

"It's okay, Damon.. be strong." He whispers, touching my hand and it feels as cold as ice.

I cry as I watch him sink down on the table, the blood still dripping from his mouth.

I squeeze his hand, trying to be strong for him.

"Don't leave me brother, please don't leave." I sob into his chest, weak.

"Goodbye, Damon." He whispers, as his eyes finally close.

Suddenly I am being shook awake, my eyes blurry with tears.

"Damon, Damon, are you okay?" I hear Katherine ask, holding me in her arms.

I don't answer as I cry into her shoulder.

"Damon you were screaming Stefan's name." She says, holding my head against her chest, like a little child being woken up from a nightmare.

My thoughts are muddled with pain and confusion and it takes me a minute to remember we are not in the tent we are out my house.

I let her hold me, shaking slightly at the horrific dream I just had.

We don't talk for a very long time, and I shake my head, trying to calm down.

But I think she knows why am I crying, she always knows.

"Shhh.. try to go back to sleep, Damon, I promise I'll be here when you wake up." Her lips brush my forehead and I relax in her arms, closing my eyes.

I drift off to sleep, this time it's peaceful and I have many dreams about Katherine and I living out in the country, building her the house I have always wanted to build and raising our son. I almost don't want to wake up to reality but Katherine shakes me gently, and I groan, opening my eyes to the light that has shown out my bedroom. One more day and I was gone.

I bolt up, scared that I have missed Stefan's departure. But when I smell breakfast I know that I have not. Mother always cooked when she was sad.

I rush to get up, leaving Katherine to sleep, guilty that I kept her up most the night. I throw on my shirt and walk downstairs to the living room.

"Mother?" I call out, as I enter the dining room

My heart sinks when I see Stefan is not there, but my father is sitting in his place, awaiting breakfast.

My mother comes out of the kitchen with a big platter of food, she sets it down, wiping her hands on her apron that is hanging from her blue dress. I smile and nod at her and she nods back, her cheeks red, probably from crying earlier.

"Hello mother." I greet her, sitting down.

She fixes my father and I a plate and sets it down in front of us.

She clears her throat.

"There's fresh squeezed orange juice down there." She says, pointing down the long wooden table.  
I nod at her.

"Will Katherine be eating also?" She asks, looking at me.

I wince, of course she knew Katherine was here.

"I'll go ask her, I will be right back." I say, standing up and walking upstairs to my bed room again.

I find her snuggled under my blankets, snoring lightly.

I chuckle and sit down on the bed, enjoying her warmth beside me.

She groans, her black eyelashes flutter open and she smiles at me.

"Good morning, kitten." I whisper, as I kiss her hand gently.

She stretches out like a cat and nods her head.

"Good morning." She says, leaning up and kissing my cheek.

I smile at her and she sits up a little, rubbing my tense back.

"Are you alright?" She asks, furrowing her eyebrows in concern.

I nod, slightly.

"Yeah.. but I missed saying goodbye to Stefan." I say, sighing deep. I was angry that I didn't make it in time.

"It's okay, you'll see him again." She says, while yawning.

I nod, but I am not so sure I will, but I don't want to worry her anymore so I smile at her.

"I'm going to miss you." She whispers, leaning up and capturing my bottom lip with her top.

I kiss her back, wrapping my arms around her waist.

She leans back so I am on top of her, I feel her hard nipples through her shirt, palming them and she moans in my mouth, tugging at my hair.

It feels so good to be with her like this again.

She slides herself down a little so I am pressed up against her, I close my eyes and grit my teeth because all I can feel is her wetness and I am already as hard as a rock.

My fingers travel up her silky night gown and she gasps in my mouth as I put them on her inner thigh.

My lips travel down to her neck, finding the sweet spot she loves so much, I gently nip at it as my fingers find the waistline of her panties.

She's already wet and it's making me go insane.

I'm just about to pull down her panties when a sharp knock makes us both jump.

"Damon, you really need to start unlocking this door! Is Katherine eating or not?" My mother yells from the other side of the door.

I groan and look down at her and she's biting her lip to keep from laughing.

I put my finger to my lips and she smirks at me, wiggling her hips under me, I bit my lip to keep from groaning.

"Are you going to eat, Mrs. Salvatore." I whisper in her ear, putting my lips back on her sweet spot, I see her close her eyes as I gently tug down her panties. I kiss down her neck, my fingers trailing up in inner thigh, she moans low, her eyes still closed.

I brush my thumb over her nub, feeling her back arch into me.

She's good and ready, I slowly slip my finger into her, pumping hard.

My hand covers her mouth and she muffles a moan.

My fingers push into her rougher and now she's squirming underneath me, her breath heavy against my hand.

"D-damon." She says, against my mouth as my thumb rubs against her nub, pushing my fingers in and out.

Her eyes are closed and I feel her mouth open against my hand, I know she is close, and she's just making me harder with the facial expression she has right now.

She reaches out and tugs my hair, moving against my fingers, I speed it up, still rubbing her probably now swollen nub.

I feel her walls clench around my fingers as she comes down my hand.

I remove my hand from her mouth, allowing her to breathe, her cheeks red. She's slightly shaking beneath me and I smile cockily at her.

She leans down and kisses me, pushing her body against me, her hands go to my boxers tugging them down.

I look up at her, smirking a little.

"Damon Salvatore, what are you doing in there?" My mother yells, I'm not surprised she hasn't left the door.

"I'M FIXING MY LUGGAGE MOM." I yell, closing my eyes as I feel my fiance's hands around my length.

I lean down against her chest, as she strokes me.

"Tell her your fixing your soon to be wife." She whispers in my ear, laughing a little.

I groan low as she begins to stroke me, stopping below my balls.

"K-katherine." I moan into her chest, loving the pressure she was applying.

Her hand strokes up and down and I look at her, seeing tiny spots where her face is, she is that good.

She moves faster, as I grab her hair, burring my face in her neck, breathing hard against it.

I'm almost shaking beneath her but she doesn't stop until I come.

When I finally release, I let out a shaky breath, leaning my head back on her chest.

"Fuck.. Katherine.. how am I supposed to live without this?" I ask, looking up at her.

She shrugs a little and smiles, playing with my hair.

"I suppose you'll just have to live on." She whispers.

I smile lazily at her, pecking her lips.

"Alright, let's go..." I say, standing up from the bed, looking over at her, she pulls on her underwear, buttoning her night gown.

She holds out her hand and I take it, lifting her off to bed.

She follows me downstairs, sitting down at the table, and I smile at her, watching her eat breakfast.

We sneak glances at each other while eating and my mother just shakes her head at us, Katherine bites her lip again to keep from laughing at the recent events of the bed room.

I reach across and take her hand in mine, thinking of all the things we're going to be doing once I return from war, I am truly excited to see our future together.

She smiles at me while she eats her bacon, squeezing my hand.

I look across the table, my heart sinking Stefan isn't here with me, I'm so sad that I didn't get to say goodbye to him, send him off properly, send him off with protection.

I hope wherever he was he was safe.

I finish my breakfast and pick up Katherine and I's plate, walking to the kitchen. I set them in the sink, and start to exit the kitchen.

"Damon.. can we talk?" My mother asks, folding her arms in the door way.

I stare at her and nod mutely.

"Yes, mother?"

"As you know Stefan left this morning.. he wanted you to have this." She hands me a crumbled piece of paper and tears almost fill my eyes, when Stefan was younger he always used to write me little notes on crumbled paper when I was having a bad day. I smile a little at the memory and take it from her.

"Gosh, both my boys going overseas to fight for their country.. I could not be a prouder mother, and I'm sure your father would say the same thing." She whispers, as she hugs me close.

I close my eyes, relaxing a little, rubbing her back as she cries.

I have to be the strong one, but I knew my father wouldn't be proud of me, he discouraged me going to the war, as soon as I told him.

She lets me go, wiping her tears.

"Thank you." She says, nodding at me.

I nod, kissing her cheek and exiting the kitchen, my hands shaking a little, the thin paper of Stefan's note between them.

Katherine rises from the table and looks at me.

I look down at the note and hold my breath in, letting out an easy exhale.

"Is that from Stefan?" She asks, peering over my shoulder.

I nod once, stuffing it in my pocket, as much as I wanted to tear into it and read it, I knew this wasn't the right time.

I turn towards my finance, smiling down at her.

"So, what do you suppose we should do on my last day?" I ask her and she smiles back at me.

"We could go to the park or go to the movies, or.. we could lay in bed all day, you know how much we love those lazy Sundays." She smiles mischievously at me, putting her hand on my chest.

I laugh and pick her up bridal style, carrying her upstairs.

She giggles against my chest, closing her eyes.

I get her to my room and lay her down on the bed, laying right next to her.

She turns towards me, touching my cheek with her fingers.

"I am going to miss you so damn much." She whispers, fighting back tears.

I gaze down into her eyes, nodding my head.

"I'm going to miss you just as much." I promise, pulling her closer to me.

"Let's go star gazing tonight." She suddenly whispers, looking at me.

I nod.

"Planetarium on sixth street?" I ask, stroking her cheek with my hand.

She nods.

I lean into her yawning a little.

"I'm really tired too." She closes her eyes, against my chest.

I smile, stroking her hair as her eyes are closed.

Memories of her and I flash by my head before I can stop them, the day we first met, I was the idiot who couldn't talk to her, eventually Grant helped me with that, our second date, the first kiss that got me hooked, walking down the streets, carrying her books, showing all the boys she was "my girl." and now I was marrying her. I smile at that thought, slowly drifting off to sleep.

 _Dream_

"Wake up daddy!." yells my beautiful black haired, six year old son.

My eyes slowly open and I stare into his blue eyes.

"Alright, alright... I'm up." I groan, sitting up.

He giggles, looking at me.

"Daddy, you're so silly." He says, while he gets off the white bed.

I look around as my feet touch the cold wooden floor.

"Where's mommy, little rascal." I say, picking him up as he giggles.

"She's in the garden!." He says, as I walk down out of the bedroom, the Italian styled carpet lays in the foyer and walk on it, heading down the wooden stairs.

The house is huge, and It's exactly how I imagined it to be, the one I wanted to start building for Katherine and I after I returned from the war.

"Grant, go see if you can get her." I tell my son, as I put him down, he smiles and runs in the direction the garden must be.

I see Katherine come in from the back door, wearing white gloves with dirt on them.

"Good morning, husband." She murmurs while she kisses my cheek.

"Good morning, baby." I say, smiling at her.

She smiles back and Grant comes running from outside.

"You're all dirty, monster." She yells at him, smiling.

"I don't care!." He shouts, running around the house.

I laugh at his temper.

"He must get it from his mother." I tease Katherine.

She hits me with the her gloved hand against my white t-shirt and I smile.

Suddenly I remember my brother and smile wider.

"Is Stefan coming over today?" I ask, hopeful.

She gives me a confused look and then suddenly it turns into worry.

I stare at her confused as well.

When she doesn't speak up I ask her what?

"Damon... Stefan's been dead for three years, now." She says uneasy, looking at me.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"What?" I ask, looking at her.

"Yeah, he died in the war, it was a causality." She explains.

"I'm planting his favorite flower for his grave." She says carefully, looking at me.

My heart skips a beat and I begin to feel my palms sweat, wait, how could I have missed my own brother's funeral? But then I remember I'm in a dream and none of this is real.

"W-wake up." I tell myself in the dream, unable to cope in this hell

"Damon.." The dream Katherine lays a hand on me, concerned.  
"Wake up!." I yell at myself, holding my head in my hands.

"Daddy.." I look over at Grant cowered in the doorway, I knew I was scaring him but I also knew none of this is real.  
"COME ON WAKE UP." I yell, again, and suddenly a white light appears and I am meant with a empty house, Katherine and Grant disappeared from my eyes.

I peer down the hallway and see something glimmering in the distance.

I walk closer and see a pair of dog tags.

I pick them up.

The name reads Salvatore, Stefan.

I clutch them close to my heart and begin to cry, sinking on the floor.

I wake up with a start, sweating.

I glance over at Katherine and see she is still asleep, I quickly wipe my tears and get up, needing some fresh air, I tug on my shirt, walking downstairs quietly, it's only 5 o'clock I can tell from the way the sun is hitting the curtains, sinking away.

I walk out on the porch, sitting on the porch swing.

I sigh deeply, going in my pocket, fishing for the letter.

I glance over at the old tire swing and smile a little, Stefan and I built that when we were just kids, I remember how proud of it we were, thinking we could build anything, oh how those days were so simple.

I find the letter and pull it out, studying the ink blots, Stefan must of wrote it in a rush, his anxiety must be kicking in now, I hope he took his meds before he left.

I open it and begin to read.

 _Dear brother,_

 _I know we have our difference of opinion, brothers aren't meant to agree on everything, I am leaving today, sorry I didn't say goodbye, I walked up to your room and opened the door and found Katherine laying there on the bed with you, you were so peacefully sleeping and I didn't have the heart to wake you up, so I wrote this letter instead. I also didn't feel like crying anymore and I knew if we were face to face I would be a mess before I met with the other medics. Anyways, I want you to know you're still my big brother, and I know you don't support me doing this, but I have my own reasons. I want to help, people Damon, you have always known this. I'm not sorry for leaving but I feel like a complete asshole for not saying goodbye, I hope to see you soon, actually. Good luck Damon, I know you will make it through this. That is how much faith I have in you. When we see each other again, I am going to give you a big hug and tell you how much I admire you, because I do, you're my hero, Damon, you practically raised me, whippings and all. Thank you for always protecting me, but I think it's my turn to protect you._

 _I love you brother._

 _-Stefan._

Tears well up in my eyes as I read the last part: Now it's my turn to protect you. I think about how much of an asshole I've been to Stefan. I dearly wish I could be with him right now and tell him I'm sorry, I hoped he did know that I am sorry.

I sigh deeply and stuff the letter back in my pocket, wishing that he knew he was always in my heart and prayers.

I get back up to the my bedroom and find Katherine waiting for me.

"Hey, you okay?" She asks, looking at me.

"Yeah.. just have to get some air." I mumble, climbing back into bed with her.

She glances at me, knowing what I had just done.  
"You read it, didn't you?" She asks, patting the space closer to her.

I nod, finally allowing the tears flow from my eyes.

She scoots me closer to her and wraps her arms around me, holding her there.

"I just love him so much!." I choke out, letting her hold me.

"I know, I know." She smooths back my hair.

I sigh a little, taking a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry I have ruined our last date." I whisper, wiping away my tears.

"No, you didn't, Damon I don't care where we go, I just want to be with you." She whispers, wiping away some tears as well.

"I love you so much." I whisper, holding her tightly.

"I love you too." She whispers back, kissing my cheek.

Once I've calmed down, she lets me go.

I stand up and throw off my shirt, not letting the pain of the unknown consume me anymore, I needed to let it go for now at least and give Katherine a good last night with me.

She stares at me confused and I grab her hand, pulling her out of bed.

"Damon." She laughs as I twirl her around my room.

"Go get ready my sweet fiance." I say, smiling at her.

She smiles back, but I can tell she's not convinced that I am alright, but I'm grateful she doesn't push it any further.

"Do I even have any clothes here?" She asks, looking at me, a sly smile on her lips.

I walk over to a drawer and pull it open, showing her all the dresses she has left at my house.

She laughs, surprised, raising her eyebrows.

"They are all yours." I promise, laughing at the fact she thinks I'm some sort of jiglo.

She laughs with me, knowing we're on the same page.

She grabs a red dress and slips out of nightgown as I grab some pants from the drawer next to it and a white shirt.

She shimmys on the dress and looks over at me.

"Do I look okay?" She asks me, as I put on my pants. Her hand automatically goes to her midsection and I stare at her in disbelief.

A laugh a little.

"Katherine, you look like the most beautiful thing I ever seen." I promise, slipping on my shirt.

She smiles a little, coming over to me and fixing my tie.

"Now let's go, we're going to miss all the stars." I complain as she throws on her hells from last night, fixing her hair in the mirror.

I wait until she is turned to me and then take her hand, walking her out of my room, down the stairs.

She can't hide the excitement on the face and neither can I.

We get to the car and I help her into it, getting into the car and starting it up.

"Planetarium, next stop, for me and my baby." I say, pulling out of the driveway and taking her hand, kissing it.

She smiles, her cheeks already red.

We get pretzels on the way, and soon we are at the planetarium, I open her door and let her out, taking a second glance at her in the dress, capturing this moment in the back of my mind.

She allows me to lead her to the green meadow behind the planetarium, I grab the blanket I brought and lay it down in the grass. She smiles at me, picking at her pretzel. I lay down at the grass, grateful it is already dark.

She lays down too, crossing her legs, we stare up at the starts, lost in our thoughts.

"Do you ever think about our future?" She asks me out of nowhere.

I smile a little, looking up at the beautiful thousands of stars.

"All the time." I confess, finding her warm hand, holding it.

She squeezes it.

"Me too.." She whispers.

"What do you think about?" I ask her, almost lost in thought.

"I think about our son, growing old with you, watching him go off to college, you know the typical stuff, but mostly I think about you returning from war, and running into your warm arms.." She trails off, and I can tell by her voice she is smiling, but also holding in tears.

I squeeze her hand, rubbing my thumb over her hand.

"It's okay, Kat, you can cry." I whisper.

I hear her laugh, and I know she is about to cry.

I pull her closer, allowing her tears to fall on my shirt.

"It's going to be so hard." She mumbles in my chest, crying.

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I whisper, stroking her hair.

"I'm not mad at you." She assures me, peeping up at me.

I smile a little for her sake.

"I know..." I say, wiping her tears.

"I know I say it all the time, but I'm going to miss you so much." She says, her soft doe eyes gazing into my blue ones.

I nod.

"I'll miss you every day." I say, holding her close.

"But you know what keeps me from going insane?" I whisper, tucking in a piece of hair behind her ear.

"What?" She whispers back, closing her eyes.

I study her face, watching more tears fall, my heart breaking.

"Thinking of you.. our son.. you reading to him on the front porch, us saying goodnight and tucking him in, every night, chasing him around the house, tickling him.. that's what I picture our future to be.." I whisper, wiping away her tears.

She lets out another shaky breath and I lean down and kiss her forehead.

"Sounds like a perfect future." She says, leaning down on my chest, again.

"It will be." I say, smiling.

"Katherine.." I say, looking down at her.

She raises her head up to meet my eyes again.

"Yes?" She asks.

"Maybe we should tell my mother."

She starts to protest but I interrupt her.

"She can help, and I know she won't judge and I know she won't keep it secret." She looks at me and sighs a little.

"If think it's for the best." She finally says.

"Of course I do, you know I only want the best for you, Katherine."

She nods a little, thinking about it but when she looks at me I know she is agreeing to it.

"Okay." She finally says. "You know I trust you." She adds.

And I smile, nodding my head, I was going to tell my mother tomorrow and pray that I was right.

She looks up at the stars again.

We spend the rest of the night, testing our astronomy trivia, laughing about the astronomy class we took in college, together, when we first started dating, the strict teacher we had, all the memories from that class.

When I see it's past midnight, I stand up, lifting her up along with me.

I can tell she's sleepy because she's doing that cute thing she does with her nose when she fights sleep.

"Get on my back." I say, leaning down.

She hops on, wrapping her legs around my waist, I hoist her up, walking with her to the car. I gently put her down in the passenger, sliding off her heels, because I couldn't imagine sleeping in them, I gently kiss her forehead and throw the heels in the back, getting in and starting the car.

I try not to think too much about leaving today as I drive home. It starts raining when I pull into the driveway and I grab my coat, draping it over her shoulders, so her dress doesn't get ruined.

I lift her out of the seat, holding her, as I walk up the front porch. The wind blows and I sigh in content at this moment, I wanted nothing more then to freeze it, having her in my arms like this. I open the door quietly and walk upstairs, to my room. I lay Katherine gently on the bed, taking off my shoes and stripping to my boxers. She moans low and cuddles to my pillow, and I smile glancing at her. She's so cute when she slept, I remember when she slept over the first night and she was embarrassed because sometimes she snores in her sleep. I lay down next to her and wrap my arms around her, closing my eyes.

Suddenly my alarm goes off and I'm groggy, I slowly open my eyes and find my bed empty.

Panic begins to raise through me as I rise out of bed, slowly.

I scratch the back of my neck, yawning.

"Katherine?" I ask, looking around.

The door opens and I see her in her sleepy form, yawning, she's wearing my shirt and I smile.

She walks to the bed and lays down.

"Good morning, love." She says, smiling a little at me.

"Hey, I thought you left." I say.

"Of course not." She says, furrowing her eyebrows at the idea.

"I'm sorry, I'm crazy." I apologize, laughing a little.

She smiles and reaches up, ruffling my hair.

"I love you, crazy." She leans in, kissing my cheek.

"And I love you, too." I say.

"Ugh I don't want to get in my uniform." I groan.

"But you'll look so sexy in it." She teases, getting out of bed.

"Where do you think you're going?" I ask, enjoying the view I am getting of her in my shirt.

"I'm going to go get your uniform." She says, tying her robe to her petite frame.

"Okay, Mrs. Salvatore." I say, smiling.

She laughs, going down the hall, she comes back a few minutes later, uniform in hand.

I'm amazed she ironed it as well.

I take it from her, slipping off my clothes as I change into it, the green uniform feels heavy against my skin.

She smiles at me, tears in her eyes.

"You look very handsome, soldier." She purrs, grabbing the war helmet from the floor and putting it on my head.

I smirk at her, leaning down at kissing her, deeply.

She kisses me back, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I pull her closer by her waist, sighing in content.

She pulls away, breathless.

"At ease, soldier." She smirks, pressing her forehead against the helmet.

"I love you so damn much, Katherine Petrova, you make me the luckiest guy, alive." I whisper, and she smiles at me through the tears.

I brush my thumb over them and wipe them away.

"And you made me the luckiest women." She says, staring into my eyes.

"You know I will be back as soon as I can." I whisper.

"I know, but I want you to have this." She says, stepping away and going to her coat.

I furrow my eyebrows confused as I watch her.

She takes the mystery gift out of her jacket with a closed fist, I notice her hand is shaking slightly.

"Katherine.. you." I start to say but she tells me to shut up and I smile.

She comes back to me and gently takes my hand, putting the gift in my hand.

I open my palm and look down at it, a smile begins to grow on my face.

It's the pin I gave her when we first started dating, the one I won at the carnival we went to on our first date for her. I remember that day like it was yesterday, I was nervous as a horse, thinking of places to take such an intelligent girl, who was way out of my league. When Stefan suggested we go to the town's small carnival, I thought it was a silly idea, to take this girl to an event she probably had been to most of her life, but I did it anyway. I picked her up, very nervous and she didn't talk much on the way there. As soon as we got out of the car she raced to the games, like a little kid and I chuckled, watching her.

"Damon, you have to win me something." She says, pulling my hand.

"Okay." I say, a little nervous as I allowed her to tug me to a specfic game.

"Knock down the milk cartons and win a prize." The Carnie said looking at me.

I wanted to impress Katherine so much, because she was already way out of my league, so 3 tokens later, and with little luck, I won her a pin, a small one, shaped like a lion, red and blue. I felt bad I couldn't win her anything else but she assured me she loved it.

I smile, looking at her now in the present.

"From our first date." She explains.

"I know, you didn't have to remind me." I say, smiling warmly at her.

"And I want you to have it, because a lion represents strength, and domination." She explains again and I smile at her wisdom.

"And I know you have those things alright, but I just feel so helpless, watching you go off.. so, I'm giving this to you, because I love you, and I believe in you , and I know you're going to make it back... think of it as a token of luck." She says, looking at me.

I smile at her, thinking of how she is my luck in many ways, how lucky I am to have her, love her, hold, her, kiss her, every night. I don't have to ever worry if she understands me, cause I know she does, and oh God how blessed I am that she is carrying my child, the epitome of love in my eyes.

"Thank you." I whisper, as she grabs it from my hand and gently pins it on my uniform.

"Be brave and come home." She whispers, pulling me into a gentle hug.

"Always." I whisper, stroking her hair, listening to her heartbeat race against my chest.

"I love you Katherine, life or death, I will always love you, until the last star falls from the sky."

I hear her gently crying in my chest and I allow her to do that, wanting to cry with her but I know I have to be strong.

"I love you too, my strong soldier." She smiles, looking up at me and I cup her cheeks, pulling her into one final kiss.

The kiss is sweet but there's so much love in it, I can feel it, racing through my veins, I never want to pull away and leave her side.

She's first to pull back, I laugh as she swats my butt with her hand.

"Now go say goodbye to your mother, mister." She says, trying to joke around but I see her lips tremble, she bites them.

"I'm going." I say, reaching out and tucking a strand of stray hair behind her ear.

She looks up at me and smiles.

I smile back, leaning in and kissing her forehead, I gently touch her stomach, leaning down to it.

"Daddy's going to be home soon." I whisper to the little fetus growing in there, I gently kiss her stomach and walk out of the room before I cry, I walk downstairs, my legs feel like jelly but I press on, I'm nervous about telling my mother about Katherine's condition.

I get to the kitchen and see my mom had made me a plate of breakfast to go.

"Hello." I greet her and she jumps in the doorway.

"Damon, don't scare your mother like that." She scold me, laughing a little.

"Sorry." I say, rubbing the back of my neck.

She notices this is what I do when I have something important to tell her.

"What is it?" She asks, going to me.

I sigh deep, looking into her eyes.

"Mom, Katherine's pregnant." I whisper, smiling a little, as tears form my eyes.

My mother looks at me with a blank face and begin to grow more nervous.

"Madre, please." I whisper, trying to get her understand that I wanted this, it wasn't an accident, sure I was shocked but I was ready to start my own family.

She slowly begins to smile.

"That's wonderful news il mio piccolo." She says, tears begin to form in her eyes.

I sigh in relief, almost wanting to collapse in her response but I smile too.

"I'm going to be a grandma to a little one. Oh Damon that is wonderful news!." She says, again, smiling.

"Madre, I need you to take care of Katherine though." I say, while smiling.

"You know how strict her parents are." I say, pulling my mom into a tight embrace.

She hugs me back, smiling.

"Of course, Damon, I will, don't worry about it, you just go out there and fight, and make me proud." She whispers into the embrace.

I smile a little, pulling back as I lean down and kiss her cheek.

"tiamo, madre." I say, looking at her. (I love you, mom)

She nods, smiling still.

I was ecstatic she was excited for the newest addition, it meant a lot she supported Katherine and I.

I look at her one last time, grabbing the plate of foot.

Goodbye home. I think with a bitter smile.

I grab my luggage from the stairs and go downstairs in the laundry room, searching for the pants I wore yesterday, I fish in the pocket until I find the letter from Stefan, I smile and stuff it in my bag, going back upstairs.

It hurts a lot, knowing my father wasn't going to send me off but I knew he'd come around eventually.

I take one last look around the house, making a mental list of things I grabbed in my brain.

Once I am satisfied, I walk out the door to the end of the driveway, waiting for the bus that is going to pick me up.

It's only then do I let the tears fall, when no one is watching, I cry, sucking in a breath, scared for what was going to happen, but I knew I was going to fight my hardest to make it back to the ones I loved.

One thing was certain though, I had to see Stefan as soon as I landed in the base, I had to see my little brother saving life's, I had to run to him and hug him and tell him how proud I am of him, it's the only way I'll survive this nightmare.


	4. A Little Beans

"War is too serious a matter to leave to soldiers."- William Tecumseh Sherman

 _Review and Rate? Maybe :) thank you for all the favs and follows!_

 _If you wanna find me on tumblr: .com_

 _Enjoy this chapter :)_

 _ **Stefan**_

I have been at the base for three days now, it's huge and has many tents around, the doctors make us wear a white band over our uniform so that we are distinguished as medic's. The first night I was here they rushed me to the tent, death never smelled so ripe in that tent, thousand of soldiers, moaning, blood covering their cots, some had torn limbs, other wore eye patches, the ones that were close to death, we made them drink whiskey to ease the pain, sending them away to their fate in peace. The first night it was hard to watch all the soldiers dying in my eyes, men screaming in agony for their lives, bargaining with the same God that put them there for absolution, not wanting to die. Some showed me pictures of their loved one, their kids, crying over the fact they would never return to them. It was tough, watching them like that, not getting caught up in it, wanting to cry, worrying about Damon, if he was alive, if I was even going to see him again. I hoped he has got my letter by now. I remember writing it on the kitchen table that night after I said goodbye to Elena. Oh, God, how I missed her beautiful smile. Writing that letter, allowing my tears to shed for him brought some peace but not very much. I'm deep in my thoughts when I hear a rattle of cans, I know it is time to eat. I take off my helmet and walk to the fire- where us medics eat. Were not allowed to eat with the other soldiers, those are reserved for the doctors, who happen to be very cocky, but I guess I would be too, if I saved as many lives as they have. I sit down in haste, grabbing the mental spoon and can from the ground. A man comes over to us and spoons the remaining beans into our cans.

I look over at all the medics, this was my team, the guys I was stuck with, and I didn't know a thing about them.

Suddenly one, speaks up I recall his name is George.

"So, how is everyone doing tonight?" He asks, the group, looking at us.

"I miss my wife." A guy, I think his name is Charlie, pipes up and smile sadly at him, while I fork around the pork and beans in my can. This is the third night of pork and beans and I'm honestly sick of it, I miss momma's home cooked meals and Damon making Italian food.

"I miss a damn good meal." I say, and all the group laughs with me.

"It sucks we're at the bottom of the food chain." Charlie says.

"Yeah, but we are helping these soldiers just as much as the doctors." I remind him, eating some more food.

They all nod in agreement, eating, all we hear for the past 2 minutes is forks scraping the bottoms of the cans.

I finally break the silence, confessing my fear.

"I'm scared to go out to field." I say, looking down at my almost empty can.

Each medic looks up at me, understanding in their eyes.

Finally, Luke, the guy I met first speaks up.

"Yes, I am scared too."

They all murmur in agreement.

"But as much as I am scared, I know we are doing the right thing, being here, helping these men who are risking our lives for a good cause, and I am so damn proud to be here." I speak up, raising my fist.

They look up at me again, I see the light in each their eyes and it makes me happy that I can do such things, even if I'm the whim of break down. I know Damon would want me to be strong though, and since I'm taking my anxiety meds now, my apprehension has been down.

Though, it didn't stop me from missing my family, terribly, Elena, even my stubborn father.

When we are finished with dinner, I go to the medic tent and use the soap and water from the sink to wash my fork and can. I hang it up to dry and reach into my pocket, taking out the letter I started to write for Elena, I read through it and throw it in the trash can, sitting down at the wooden table, inside the tent. I reach behind my ear and grab the black pen I used before. I tap it against my chin, thinking of words to say but I come up blank.

I sigh deeply, tapping my fingers on the table.

Suddenly it pops into my brain.

 _Dear Elena,_

 _I hope this letter makes it to you somehow, and doesn't get lost in the mail. Military mail is always tricky, thousands of packages and letters lost daily._

I groan and strike through that last part, why was I such an idiot when it came to her.

 _Anyways, you probably don't want me to go on about that, hmm what can I tell you about this place? Well first, I am at the bottom of the food chain, here. I am just a medic, a doctor's assistant, sad isn't it? I know I could run circles around these doctors in surgery though, are you picturing me with a cheeky smile because it's stuck on my face right now! Second, we all sit in a campfire and eat pork and beans, remember the movie we watched in history class about the first war and all they ate was that stuff? Well, welcome to my life Elena Gilbert, God, I miss Italian food so much right now. I bet by the time you've read this, they will have overdosed me with pork and beans, I would become a casually in the war because of it. The third thing I have to tell you is I miss you, God I miss you, I miss your laugh, your smile, the way you crinkle your nose and things you don't like, your eyes, doe eyed and brown, like a deers, so innocent and pure. I miss your lips on mine, I miss our secret hiding spots, where we can just be together and sometimes kiss. I miss you so much. I hope everything is well there, and your preparing for your exams like a good girl. I wish I could hear your voice telling me everything was going to be alright, but I'm sure you think about me all the time, wishing to say those words to me and even that is enough to get me through this torture._

I trail off in thought, thinking of the real reason I wanted to write her. I begin to write.

 _I don't want to die, I've seen what death does to a person and I would never wish that on you or my family. Anyways, enough about my boring life over here, how are you? How is school? College stressing you out? Read any good books lately? All I've been reading is my medical book, it's really interesting to read and all but I wish I could practice it you know? I haven't heard from Damon and all and the thought scares me, I hope we were even sent to the same base._

Suddenly, a bell goes off and sigh, knowing the meaning it is bed time, I decide to end my letter.

 _The bell just went off, guess it's my bed time, please write back as soon as you can, I miss you. And I love you. Your medic is coming home._

 _With all my love,_

 _Stefan._

I sigh deeply and stuff it in the envelope it came with, I lick it shut, stuffing it in my pocket to send out tomorrow.

I take off my medic uniform and lay down on my cot, it's uncomfortable and I wish Elena was in my arms right now, but she's not, she's a thousand oceans away. I sigh sadly, rolling over so I am finally a little bit more comfortable. I close my eyes and begin to drift off. A sentence pops into my head before I can sleep though, I feel sick to my stomach just thinking of it.

What if Damon is dead?

 _ **Katherine**_

I stand with my hand over my mid-section. My mind is troubled by the emptiness I am feeling in my heart. I sigh deeply, looking over at our front porch, the rocky dirt road down the driveway.

I decide to sit down and with shaky hands, I grab the pen and paper I had previously brought out to begin writing a letter to Damon. I got frustrated because I couldn't find the right words to start out the letter, my mind's a mess, after I said goodbye to Damon, I had Damon's mom give me a ride home, she talked about how happy she was that Damon and I are expecting and although, I smiled, inside I was broken, wishing that my mother was going to feel the same way, so I just nodded along with her, as she talked about pregnancy and all her crazy stories, of raising a rebellious Damon.

Damon.. I sigh deeply, looking down at the sheet of paper again, trying to form the loneliness and the sadness in words but I give up once I realize that I can't. I guess I won't write to him tonight. I swing on the porch swing, starting out into space, last night was beyond perfect, being with him, laying down, him confessing that he sees a bright future ahead of us, my heart beating a mile a minute as he talks about our son, if we're going to have one, but I hope to God we do so I can name him Grant, after Damon's best friend. When Damon told me about his friends two night's ago, I reached out and held him because I couldn't imagine losing someone as close to me as that. Grant was the one who asked Damon out for me, he was the one who brought us together, and I could not thank him enough for the blessing.

My hand finds my stomach again, closing my eyes, I feel the fresh tears begin to fall.

I had to watch my steps, I couldn't act weird, I couldn't act sick, I had to be normal, it's not like my parents won''t be surprised they have a lot of opinions about me. Being the pastor's daughter doesn't help me at all. God forbid I have a child and be happy, when I told my papa I was marrying Damon he was very quiet at first, no joy, nothing in his lifeless eyes. Just disappointment. He immediately thought I was pregnant also, claiming a whore like me couldn't settle down unless I was pregnant. Those words stung like nothing else. I will never be good enough for my parents, but Damon I am beyond good enough for him, he doesn't treat me like a prize, he listens to what I have to say, he helps me through a lot, actually, he knows all my demons and still loves me whole heartily. He knows how my parents always favorites Elena: Elena was the good girl, Elena did everything right, Elena was so perfect. And I well, I was the brat, the whore, the devil in their eyes. But in Damon's eyes I was an angel, a work of heart, someone worth loving. I brush away the tears from my eyes, thinking of his past words about Elena of course my sister was nothing but loving and caring towards me. She would be overjoyed about this baby, probably help me along in the pregnancy which I was forever grateful at the thought.

I look up and see headlights in the distance. Elena is going to be home soon, I brush away the tears and curse the pregnancy for making me feel this low, because pregnant women were hormonal. I fake a smile as I see Elena step out of her car, her long brown hair swaying in the wind, Stefan left also, part of me wonders of she is taking it. Because I am falling apart.

Elena walks up the porch steps and I keep my eyes away from her.

I didn't want her to see me crying, I should of went inside.

I feel her warm hand touch my bare shoulder, I already know her facial expression, her eyebrows creased in worry, I gently shrug of her hand, eyes trained to the sunset.

"Are you okay?" She asks, waiting for a response.

I look up at her, grateful it was dark and she couldn't see my tears.

"Yeah, I just miss Damon." I say, technically I was telling the truth, yes I miss him, every second, every minute, every hour, not just every day.

She sighs deep.

"I know how you feel." She says, touching my shoulder again.

"I know.." I say, closing my eyes, I feel the tears begin again, the wind swings my hair back and forth and I put my hand to my face.

"Katherine.. are you crying?" Her voice sounds disbelieving and I hiccup and laugh, tears streaming down my face, I never cried, that much before, unless I feel how I feel today: The word is unfair and I'm alone.

"Y-yes." I whisper, wiping away the tears, lamely.

"Why?" She asks, sitting down next to me.

I stare at the door, hoping to God our parents weren't ease dropping on us, like they always did. Privacy was a foreign concept my household, my dad believed that God sees everything we do, therefore we don't deserve privacy.

I stare at her, her eyes seem troubled for me in the night.

"Elena.. I need to tell you something, but before I do you can't tell momma or papa." I say in a hushed tone, gripping her shoulders, staring her deep in the eyes.

She nods, slowly.

"I promise, Katherine." She says, looking at me.

Her expression was fear, like she was scared I did the most horrible thing in the world, it hurt to know even my sister thought that low of me.

"I'm pregnant." I whisper in her ear and I hear her gasp.

She turns to face me her eyes, wide, her mouth agape, surprised that even I would get pregnant.

"Oh my god.." She says, a slow smile begins to form on her face.

"I have so many questions." She squeals, but I put my fingers to my lips, pointing at the door.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She giggles nervously, she takes my hand and I look at her confused, she points to the door and I nod in understanding as we walk to my car, sitting down in it.

"Oh my.. when did you know?" She asks, not hiding the smile on her face.

I smile a little, happy that this is the reaction she has.

"Well, I found out three days ago. Damon's mom knows." I say, looking at her.

Her smile widens. "And she was okay with it?" She asks.

"Yes, of course, she is not our mother." I say with disgust.

"Katherine do not criticize our mother-." She starts to say but I cut her off.

"Shut up, Elena, I don't care, the point is I'm having this baby and I need you to keep it a secret okay, can you do that? For me? For your sister." I ask, looking at her, a serious expression on my face.

She studies my face, I see the conflict spinning around in her head, tell and risk my parent's forcing me into an abortion, because I know they will, they will say the baby is Satan's spawn, especially because it was Damon's.

Or keep your mouth shut and keep the baby, be an aunt to a healthy boy or girl.

"I will keep your secret." She says and I let out all the breath I was holding in.

"Good." I say, and then I do something I haven't done in a long time, although, I blame the pregnancy for this, I pull Elena into a warm hug, letting my tears flow down her shoulder, she rubs my back, soothingly, whispering it's all going to be okay and that she is on my side and right now that is the only thing I need. When we pull apart I wipe my tears on my sweater and smile at her a little.

"Thank you." I tell her, holding her hand.

"Can I touch your stomach?" She asks, shyly.

"Sure but it's only a tiny thing right now, I don't even think it has a heartbeat." I blush.

She lays her hand over my stomach and smiles and I think I catch a few tears in her eyes but I don't address them.

"When is your appointment?" She asks while she takes her hand off my stomach and I sigh and tell her I haven't made one yet.

"Well, you have to go to the doctor's Katherine." She says. "I'll make one for you tomorrow."

I nod, feeling ashamed I didn't think of that but I'm sure she has it all planned out, Elena was a planner, she wouldn't admit it but she loved to plan, whether it be her study schedule or something as simple as a planner, she did it.

"Well, we better get back inside, before parents think were hiding something." She says and I nod and take her hand, extremely grateful in her support for this little one that was growing inside of me. She walks us to the door and I open it, stepping back inside.

My parents are sitting at the table, looking at me, disgust is the only word to describe it.

"And what are you doing back here?" My father asks in Bulgarian.

I look down at the ground.  
"Her fiance left for war, papa, I told her she could stay." Elena answers for me and I look up at her, in shock that she would answer for me.

"Well, you can stay a few days." My father grunts, waving his hand away from us, done with the discussion.

I rush upstairs to my room before he catches a tear fall from my eye. I lay down in my bed, amazed when I find an old shirt's of Damon's sitting on my bed, his black v-neck. I lift it up and sniff it, inhaling his faint scent. This time I don't even try to wipe away my tears as I sob into the shirt, wishing he was here to support me, to tell my father to go to hell, I didn't need my parent's. In fact I don't want my baby knowing their grandparents, he didn't need to be subjected to their irrational behavior. I find a piece of paper on the floor and grab it, searching for a pen, once I find one I write the words I wanted to say all along to Damon.

 _Dear my brave soldier, oh how I miss you, it hurts, Damon, it hurts to know that I'm alone, this loneliness I feel it in the pit of my stomach, I wish your strong arms were around me right now, holding me while I cry. I did it, I told Elena and she was delighted just as you said, God, I hate it when you're right. She's going to keep the secret. I am going to make an appointment and write to you about it later, my dad is allowing me to stay in my house for two more days and then I probably have to head back to your place, to say he's not happy about our union in an understatement.. but you know what? I don't care, you make me happy, and I know you will for the rest of our lives. Although these times are hard I know you're constantly thinking of me and the baby, and even that little thought is enough to get me through the darkest nights, what's it like over there anyways?_

I inhale a shaky breath, putting the letter down, I would continue to write tomorrow but for now I had to sleep, I was beyond exhausted and I knew that I had college classes tomorrow's. I needed to get my head on straight for exams. I lay on my bed, looking up at my ceiling, I smile when I see the permanent black marker, etched on the very top. In small letters written is: **D.S+K.P= Infinity.**

I drift off to sleep, forever grateful for our infinity, even if it's small right now, I know I picked the right man to say I do with.


	5. You Owe Him That

_**Another update, thank you for all the reviews guys, for those asking for a flash forward, I really wanted to portray the war at this time and I hope I did it justice.! Also, this is majorly a defan story so datherine and stelena won't show up 'till way later! I hope you enjoy this chapter though, I have so much written and it's really exciting for me to finally get it out there. Also, question? I haven't wrote in Elena's P.O.V yet, but there is the one part where I feel like it should be done, do you think I should add it? Thank you, again**_

 _ **If you wanna look for me on tumblr: .com :)**_

" ** _Every soldier must know, before he goes into battle, how the little battle he is to fight fits into the larger picture, and how the success of his fighting will influence the battle as a whole." -Bernard Law Montgomery_  
**

 _ **Damon**_

 _Dear Katherine, it's been two days, forty-eight hours, probably over a billion seconds since I've last seen you. I just arrived, actually. They gave all the standard drill, talking us up to our graves, you know how it is, you studied the first war with me in college, I'm scared, more scared then I am willing to admit, I keep thinking about us, that little baby inside your womb, growing, I won't let him grow up without a father, this was my choice, yes, but that doesn't mean I can't be scared shit less for this next adventure. I miss you. I see you in the trees here, I feel you when the wind blows, I like to think every time the wind touches me it's your lips, your words reassuring me all is going to be okay. I can't even being to describe how much I wish I was with you right now, did you go to the doctor's today? Are you going to? Gosh, you must be a week by now! How exciting. I hope you weren't joking when you said you'd take Polaroids of yourself pregnant, because I'd love them and I would think you're so beautiful with that round belly. God, how did I get so lucky to be with you? I must have done something good to be blessed by your presence._

 _This reminds me, have you told Elena, yet? Is my mother helping? -_

I look up to see my sergeant in my tent.

"Salvatore, breakfast time." He grunts, looking at me, he's a huge guy with tattoos and black hair with green eyes, he was probably a war hero and I was the scum of the earth to him. I was just a skinny pale man with blue eyes and black hair, swimming in the army uniform.

"I'll be there." I promise him, looking down at the letter I am writing.

He grunts in response, reminding my of a caveman, in which I instantly smile when looking down when he leaves.

 _I gotta go my love, please write back as soon as possible._

 _I love you._

 _-your soldier._

I get off the cot and seal the letter in an envelope, reminding myself to send it out as soon as possible.

I scramble to get my uniform on, grabbing the lion pin from my night stand, I pin it to my uniform above my name and smile at the thought of the luck she is giving me.

I walk out the door of the tent, carrying my rifle along with me. The rifle I have to reload, carry, take apart and put back together every morning. Though, we were on base, we were not in the safe zone. Attackers could come in at any minute my sergeant warned us the night before. My hands begin to shake as I enter the tent, war wasn't turning out to be what the recruiter promised me, but I had to keep my head up. The agony I went through everyday, the training, the PT, the constant fear of if I was going to live another day or not. My comrades look at me and I smile at them, grabbing a metal plate and marching in line to receive my ration for the day. Although it was seven am it was pitch black and hard to see as I lift my plate on the mental rack, sliding it down with the other soldiers. The cold wind sends shivers down my spine as the cook slops on the eggs that I will be eating this morning.  
I fix my hair and look around for a place to sit. I have not met any friends yet but I wasn't opposed to any either. Friends helped with the loneliness I feel now. I sit down at a table with my soldiers and begin to eat the liquid eggs, shoving them down my throat they don't compare to my mom's eggs though, those are truly a gift from heaven. Once I finish I stand up and grab my rifle, walking over to the PT area. I put it down, joining my other mates in order. We line up and begin to do our daily exercises, push ups, sits ups, running. My legs still burn from last night. I push through as best as I can as our sergeant tells us to go faster.

Twenty minutes later I am covered in sweat, I allow myself to breathe in and out in shallow breaths. I start coughing and sputtering when I realize that it won't work, I feel like I can't breathe. I fall to the ground my vision blurring. If I was to die because of this imagine what a coward I would be.  
My sergeant comes up behind me and pokes me in the back with his metal rifle.

"Up soldier." He shouts, standing behind me.  
I look up and see him in blurs.  
"I said up, soldier." He repeats, poking me again.  
I grunt in pain and slowly raise myself up by my feet, slowly so it doesn't hurt as bad.  
I stumble a little but I am finally up, staring into my sergeant's green eyes.  
"Sir, yes, sir." I yell, saluting.  
"That's what I thought, Salvatore." He mutters under his breath, folding his hands around his back, walking away for me to go pick on some other innocent soul.  
I huff in relief as the other soldier's laugh at me. I ignore their snickering and sigh deep, continuing on with the exercises the sergeant yells at us.

After exercises we are allowed free time before dinner. I head over to the post office, toting my rifle around with me. I grab Katherine's letter from my back pocket and kiss it once, dropping it in the mail box. I march back to my cot, getting ready for dinner. Dinner flys by and I go back to my cot, laying my aching body down. I barely have time to close my eyes when I hear a huge crash from outside our tent. My eyes open and I scramble out of bed, stubbing my toe on the frame, I yelp out in pain and limp to my wardrobe, tugging my uniform off the hanger, I dress quickly, lacing up my black combat boots, I search blindly in the dark for my rifle when I feel cold metal that is when I know I have found it. I grab it fast, running outside with my war helmet in my hands, I slip it on, looking outside, it has began to rain, all the soldiers are running around like a bunch of chicken with their heads cut off. I see the medic team come into play. My eyes scan their faces but none look like my brother. My heart sinks in realization that he was never on this base with me, I mentally curse myself for not checking on my first day. Suddenly there's a huge boom that sounds like a sniper rifle filling the air. I duck down, hiding my head. They never prepared me for this on going nightmare, that's for damn sure. The mud from ducking down gets into my eyes and I wipe it off, fast, the smoke from the guns make it hard to see but I stand up, ruthlessly, searching for my comrades.

As I walk around I see bits of people scattered every where, guts, and blood, and soldiers laying on the ground, bleeding out. My lips tremble as they beg for God to take them from this nightmare. But, this wasn't a nightmare because I'll never wake up. I walk a little ways until I see them, our enemies coming over our attack line. I hoist my rifle up below my shoulder and begin shooting. This is what they taught me, to kill, have no mercy on the enemies. I yell in triumph as a few guys go down, maybe I wasn't such a bad shot. As I yell though I see my comrades in trenches below, shaking from fear. Most of us were probably dead by now. I slide into the trench alongside one, I think his name is Greg. Greg looks at me, terror filling his entire being. I ignore him and lift my head up slowly from the trench, thinking of ways to go about my next attack. I lift my rifle to my shoulder again and look through the scope, the mud in my eyes makes it damn near impossible to see. I wipe my eyes quickly, as rain pours down my cheeks. But its not rain. I realize it's tears. I was one second away from a mental break down. I reload my gun with shaky hands when I stand up and prepare to take my shot. My hand barely grazes the trigger when I feel a sharp pain in my lower back. No, I can't be. I fall to the ground face first as the pain intensifies. I slowly look up from the ground, my face covered in mud. This was it my last minute on earth. My eyes drift towards the sky as I wait for my body to prepare itself for my death. Stefan once told me that when you die, your brain releases some kind of chemical that calms your body down for it's fate.  
I close my eyes, the blood rushes to my ears and I feel it in my mouth. Stefan, he'd be so ashamed of me. "Stand up! Fight for Stefan!" I eternally yell at my brain. "YOU OWE HIM THAT!" I yell into the dark sky. I feel my vision begin to fade and I know I have lost too much blood to survive this, suddenly I feel a pair of hands lift me up and I'm so delirious I think it is angels, taking me to heaven. I hear something about a gun shot wound to the chest when I feel the arms set me on something hard, a stretcher. I turn my head and my heart almost stops. There I see him, the man I hadn't seen in four days now, Stefan passed out on the stretcher beside me, their wheeling us to the truck and I fight God to let me see his face. I slowly reach out and grab his bloody hand. "S-stefan." I barely mumble out, giving his hand a tiny squeeze before the world goes black before me.


	6. Ready To Lose My Brother Or Not

_Another update thank you so much for reading guys, and thank you for all the compliments, please review and rate and let me know what to do next :)_

 _if you want to follow me on tumblr it's: remember-to-bring-me-back._

" **Only the dead have seen the end of war." -Plato**

 _ **Stefan**_

My eyes shoot open, pain courses through my body,

making it unbearable to move. Suddenly, a flashback plays through my mind

making my lips tremble.

Damon got shot, I watched his body go down in the mud before I too, got

shot. I vividly remember his hand squeezing mine as we were wheeled to the

trucks, being transported to another base. I had to find him. I grunt in

pain, lifting one leg over the side of the bed. I struggle with my other

leg, though and it takes time to lift that one over as well. My feet hit

the floor and I almost double over in pain. I don't care though I need to

find my brother. I grasp onto the bed frame and lift myself up, I look down

and see I am shirtless, a dressing wraps around my torso where the bullet

hit me. I was going to live as far as I knew. I move my feet forward,

shuffling to the other side of the tent. I find a clean shirt and throw it

on over my pants, lifting the flap of the tent. The moon lights the dark

path before me and I shiver as the cold wind bites at my skin before I

walk out, limping in the direction of the other hospital tent, praying that

my brother was in there. I'm surprised when no one tries to stop me although

it is the middle of the night I keep going, the grass is wet against my

feet and I feel the mud between my toes but I have to find him. I reach the

other green tent, pulling the flap open, there are only two people in there

and one better be him.

"Damon." I whisper as I walk inside of the tent, trying not to groan in

pain. The pain could wait. I walk closer to the edge of the cot and gasp in

horror when I see Damon laying there, sweat covers his forehead and I see

they also dressed his wound in white gauze, but he doesn't look as good as

me. His skin is beyond pale and I see they hooked something to his bed that

signals he cant even get up and go to the bathroom. How long has he been

like this? How long was I out? I grit my teeth in anger that they aren't

even bothering to take care of him. After, the brave thing he did that

night. He practically saved their sorry asses. I groan in pain as I sit

down next to his bed.

I don't dare complain anymore because I got the

easier recovery out of this. I take his clammy hand in mine, tears invade

my vision.

"You're gonna make it, Day. I'm going to do everything in my power to make

sure you make it out of here." I whisper, studying his relaxed face.

I wasn't lying when I said I was going to do that. First thing tomorrow I

was going to ask the doctor of surgery if I could take care of my brother.

Since they aren't doing a good job with him. I was going to save Damon's

life because like I had said it was turn to protect him. I sit back on the

chair, letting go of his hand, my lips tremble slightly as I watch his

chest rise and fall slowly. His shallow breaths fill the room and I open my

eyes, wiping the newly fresh tears off my face.

I open my eyes suddenly and lift my head from the

cold hard chair, I must of dozed off while sitting. I look and see Damon

still laying on the cot, his forehead covered in more sweat. I had to cool

his forehead down, I look around and spot a abandoned wash cloth on the

medic's table. I grit my teeth and will myself to stand up, limping over to

it, I grab it and go to the sink, wetting it. I turn back around and go to

Damon, whose face had become paler over night. I feel sick thinking of the

possibility he's not going to make it. I sit down on the chair again,

scooting it closer to Damon, ignoring my petty pain once again. I smooth

back his hair and press the damp washcloth to his burning forehead. I see

his face begin to relax and he groans a little in his sleep. I take it as

hope he is going to make it. I keep the cloth there, looking at his face.

Was this the same Damon who used to tease and torture me when we were kids?

The light free, jouster who always had something witty to say? Now he looks

tired, with dark circles under his eyes and a hollow face, probably from not

Eating in awhile. I'm about to get up when I hear

Damon start to mumble something in his sleep.

I lean my head closer to catch the last few words.

"You and the baby its keeping me from going insane." He mumbles with a

light smile on his face.

The baby?

Does he mean...

I open my mouth a little, staring at my brother.

Katherine was pregnant.

I am so in shock at this news that I don't notice that the tent has been

opened.

My eyes land on the doctor.

"You're not supposed to be in here.." He says, looking at me.

My lips curl into a frown.

His eyes flick to the dressing on my wound.

"And you're wounded you need to get back to bed." He says, going over to

me.

"I'm not leaving this spot." I say firmly, looking over at Damon.

"You're just going to get worse, listen you need to get back to your room."

He says, laying his hand on my shoulder.

I shrug it off, coldly.

"Don't tell me what I need to do." I say, standing up and getting in his

face.

He looks at me, fear passes over his face.

"In fact I should be telling you what to do, because you're not doing your

job properly." I say, as I point to Damon.

"How long as he been like this?" I ask the doctor.

"That's private information, son." The doctor answers.

"He's my brother." I whisper.

"Three days." The doctor confirms.

"Now you need to get back to bed." He says, starting to push me to the tent

exit lightly.

I whirl around and shove him hard.

"I said don't fucking touch me." I growl, angry that my brother has been

like this three days and there was nothing I could do.

"You need to calm down." The doctor says, holding up his hands, suggesting

he wasn't going to hurt me unless necessary.

I laugh bitterly, getting in his face again.

"You're a fucking joke." I spat. "I can't believe I used to respect you and

listen to people like you, you cant save anyone, all and now my brother is

going to die because of you." I poke his chest and the last sentence, my

fist tighten in rage.

Suddenly another medic comes into the tent.

"Doctor, are you alright?" He asks, but I grab the doctor and push him

hard, he goes over the table and I stare at the medic, hatred in my veins.

"What were you in on it to?" I yell, punching him in his snaky face.

"Did you make my brother like this?" I yell as I pin him down, punching

him.

He groans in pain, his face begins to bleed but I don't care I want to hurt

all of them for making my brother like this. For making it a option he wont

even recover.

I barely feel the hands pull me off the guy, I begin to fight them too,

fueled by rage when I feel something poke into my neck, I groan in pain, as

I look at them, their face becomes blurry in vision. I look over at my

brother to see he is awake now, his face shocked in horror as he looks at

me, he's still pale but the sweating as gone down. His lips barely make out

my name before the world goes black around me.

 _Damon_

I wake up to a lot of yelling for a minute I feel

like I'm home all over again, my parents bickering while Stefan and I

listen from the doorway, tallying who's winning the argument or not in our

heads. My eyes open and I slowly sit up to a horrible sight. Stefan has a

medic pinned down, beating him senseless, I don't catch a lot of the words

he's saying but it's something about me. I watch as the doctor grabs him

and even then, Stefan always being so stubborn fights him back, they pin

his hands behind his back and bring the needle, I think it is a sleep serum

of some kind to his neck, injecting it. I see Stefan's tense demeanor begin

to change as he slumps against the doctor, even through it all his eyes

find mine as his head lowers, probably both from shame and a sleepy state.

I stare at him in disbelief. This isn't my sweet, careful, kind brother.

This is a monster. I feel the guilt begin to set in. Why wasn't I there for

him? Is it my fault he's this way? Guilt changes to anger and if Stefan

wasn't laying on the ground right now I would of scolded him before he did anything.

Instead, I clear my throat and the doctor turns to me.

"That is my brother you just injected that with." I say, in a horse voice.

"He attacked me, it had to be done." The doctor says, reaching for my

clipboard so he can document my vitals.

I reach down and grab it before he can.

"I don't want you as my doctor." I say with grinding my teeth together.

"Fine, we'll find you someone else." The doctor says, taking the clip board

out of my shaky hands.

"I want my brother." I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

I know my how much my brother loves helping people, so maybe if he helps me, it'll get him back on the right track, make him no so hostile.

The doctor laughs at my ridiculous request.

But I glare at him.

"I know you lost a lot of men in that fight. And I know you're looking for

new recruits even turning to the medics to fight with you, I'll make you a deal. If

you let my brother help me recover I'll stay in this war 'till the end. But

if you don't I refuse to fight."

I knew I was playing with fire but I know what Stefan liked doing the most:

helping people. I know he wants to protect me too and that is what he was

going to do.

The doctor stares at me, weighing his options.

"Fine, but you're going home anyways, you're too sick, Salvatore stays. We

wont throw him jail when he gets back if he stays.." He says, looking at

me.

I start to shake my head but suddenly I hear Stefan's voice.

"Deal." He says, looking at me.

"What? Stefan? No!." I yell, my voice hoarse, I begin to cough.

"Yes, Damon. Its the only way. You have to get back to Katherine." He says,

looking at me with tears in his eyes.

I'm about to protest but I feel myself sinking into my bed, the last thing I see is my brother's face, looking at me, like he saved me, but he didn't, we were to be separated and I couldn't imagine a worse ending for both of us.

I open my eyes gently and see Stefan over me with a

washcloth, he looks healthier, with his medic uniform on. I lightly smile

at him, just because he is there, finally in my line of vision, taking care

of me.

He smiles lightly back at me.

"Your vitals are good, Day." He says, writing some things down.

I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Stefan.. I'm so sorry." I whisper.

He furrows his eyebrows at me.

"For what?" He asks, looking at me.

"I should of stopped you from coming here, Stef, it's changed you." I say,

watching his lips turn into a frown

"I'm fine, Damon. Now that you are alright, I'm fine." He says, pressing

the washcloth to my head again.

I shake my head.

"Attacking a doctor you call that fine?" I ask, looking into his green

eyes.

He rolls his eyes.

"We're over that. I'm accepting the consequences and you get to go home, I

don't understand why you're so upset with that." He says simply and he's so

calm that I begin to get angry.

"Because, going home without you, without my brother is the worst

punishment imaginable." I say, as my lips tremble.

He stares at me, his eyes showing compassion but his face

not changing from the frown.

"Damon, please don't." He says, putting the stethoscope to my heart as he

checks it.

"Don't what?" I almost shout, I feel my blood pressure begin to rise.

"Don't say those things, you.. you got many things to live for, you have a

baby on the way and a beautiful fiance waiting for you back at home." He

says reminding me of Katherine.

I sigh deep, shaking my head.

"The reason I got so mad with you wanting to

stay is because no one asked me if I was ready to lose my brother." I

confess, staring at him.

His green eyes falter a little, saddening but then I watch as they stare away from me, the washcloth stills on my head, and I feel like I got to him again, that he'll say that he's going to fight for me to stay with him, but his face turns stone again, making my insides ache a little.

"I cant make that promise, Damon." He says as he gently wipes my

forehead, as a tear drops down my eye. What happened to my brother? The

optimist.

I stay quiet, not wanting to make him angry, because it was clear he didn't

want to talk about it

He changes my dressings and sits down on the chair, feeding me soup.

I fake smiles and force laughs as he tells me about his day.

In reality my heart is breaking that I might lose my brother to this war. I

am angry at myself. Watching him change like this becoming cold,

indifferent towards death, and dying. He's feeding me the last drop of soup

when the doctor comes into the tent, interrupting us.

"Salvatore on the field." He says and Stefan stands up but I grab his hand.

He stares at me expecting a lecture but I allow myself a tiny smile.

"Shoot straight." I whisper and squeeze his hand in mine.

He slowly smiles and nods, putting on his war helmet.

"I'll be back." He says, grabbing his rifle that is standing up by the edge

of the bed.

I raise my fist to him and he does the same, I watch him leave, praying to

God above that he was going to make it back.


	7. Let Her Go

_Another update for you! Please review and rate and I'll update! Thank you for all the love, guys. Means a lot._

 _ **Stefan**_

"Shoot straight." My brother whispers to me and I

smile, nodding as I put on my helmet.

I couldn't let him see the vulnerable side of me, although I had lost all

hope, I didn't want him to be in dispair too. I grab my rifle and see he

has his fist raised up to his chest, I copy the same movement, knowing the

gesture.

He was saying he had hope for me

I follow the doctor down the path to the RV that is waiting for us. I step

on the truck and sit down, rifle between my legs.

The RV starts to move and I watch as the green tent that holds my brother

fades from my view.

We get there in ten minutes, and all I see is dead or

wounded soldiers on the ground. I grab my rifle and rush to them, picking

and choosing who I can save or not, because I know I can't save all of them.

I get a couple on the stretcher, putting them in the back of the R.V. I run

back to the field, ducking in the bushes as I see one of our enemys have

crossed out border shooting at the medics. I balance my rifle on my

shoulder and aim, shooting him in the neck, he goes down right away . I

stand up and search the field for any people I can save when I don't see

any, I quickly run back to the R.V, I know there is blood all over me and

mud but I don't have time to wash off, I need to get back to Damon.

The R.V starts to move as I sit down next to the doctor.

"Nice shot." He says and I just nod, not feeling anything by it.

We get back to the base and I get off the R.V, marching to the tent.

I open the flap and step inside to see Damon sleeping, peacefully. I smile

a little, and take off my helmet, putting my rifle by the edge of the bed

again, just incase.

I've learned you can never feel too safe, life has no

guarantees. Before I sit back on the chair I go to the sink and wash my

hands, grabbing a cloth and wetting it down for my brother's forehead. I

stand over him and press it to his forehead, his face has began to get

color back in it and all the vitals I have recorded so far seemed accurate

for his health.

I put the wash cloth down and sit down on the chair

again, yawning a little. I was very tired from all the action I've endured

today.

This dream is like all the others I have. I'm in the

field dressed in my medic uniform. I tend to as many people as I can until

I see a girl in a white dress her face is cut, and it's dark so I can

barely see her.

"S-stefan..help." She gasps, searching for air to breathe.

My blood goes cold as the girl's voice. "E-elena, what are you doing here?!

We gotta get you outta here."

I try to take her arm but she refuses.

"No, I don't want your help. You're not my Stefan. You're not pure and

kind. You've t-urned into a monster." She coughs up blood, her words sting

me as I grab some cloths, trying to keep pressure on her gun shot wound.

"Elena, please." I cry, holding her bloody hand to my heart.

"Stefan, let me go." She demands in a shallow breath.

"Elena, no, no." I yell, beating at the ground with my blood fists. She

looks up at me, her face calm, she gently touches my cheek, blood smeared

against the skin.

"We could of been something great." She whispers as she pressed her lips to

mine, I cry but kiss her back, not caring the copper taste of blood invades

my mouth.

I feel my heart clench in pain when she falls to the muddy ground, another

causality but this one was different, the love of my life is dead, and now

the pain won't go away. I clench at my heart, digging my nails into my skin

as I feel it jump, causing me to breathe shallow. I was having a heart

attack.

I feel a hand gripping my face as I wake up, my cheeks wet.

"Stefan..stefan are you awake?" His voice is shaking.

A take a deep breath, my hands shaking against the chair.

"Yes, yeah, i'm fine." I say in a groggy voice.

Damon just shakes his head at me.

I slowly stand up, catching my breath, slowly. I feel panic rise in my

chest though and I control my breathing like Damon taught me. When I feel

that it is not working I turn away from the bed.

"Stefan, let me help you." I feel Damon's gentle hand on my back but I

shrug it off.

"No, you need the rest." I say, still turned away from him.

I hear him sink back into his cot.

"I need a walk." I say briskly as I walk out of the tent, I couldn't have

Damon helping me, he wasn't going to be there in two days, I had to deal

with these things on my own. I take a short walk, admiring the moon, part

of me wonders if Elena is looking up at the same moon.

I shrug the thought from my mind. The Elena in my

dream is right, if she saw me like this she wouldn't want anything to do

with me. I had turned into a monster, a heartless creature and I hated

myself for it. I didn't need to drag her into this, too. Once I get back to

my tent I'm going to write her a letter, I'm going to let her go. It's the

only way.


	8. Small Bump

**Damon's POV**

I wake up when the bus driver says last stop. I crane my neck to see my boring town hasn't changed one bit. I grab my duffel bag, lifting it off the seat, standing up. The bus driver opens the door and I limp out, getting to the ground. 

I have returned, under different circumstances that I wish but I am here.  
I feel my heart being to race as I think about Katherine and the child she is carrying, maybe I would be able to feel it kick in her womb. The mere though brings tears of joy to my eyes.

Although I was messed up, at least I had the hope of a child and the love of Katherine. I needed to see her and I know exactly who would know where she is. 

Elena. 

I walk to the gas station, using the bathroom to fix my appearance. Although, there wasn't much to fix. I was dressed in blue jeans and a white shirt, my hair an atrocious mess, sticking up everywhere left and right. I grab a comb from my bag, brushing it, I look in the mirror while I do it and wish I had something to cover the bruises on my face.

I wince as I touch them, they are still ripe and hurt like a bitch. I give up on my hair and throw a hat on instead. I fix it in the mirror, looking at the dark circles under my sleepless eyes. I sigh deeply and ignore them, Katherine couldn't expect me to come home perfect. I lift up my shirt expecting the dressing, making sure I didn't need to change it. Before I left Stefan taught me how, god I miss him. I force myself not to think about him, I didn't need to be a crumpling mess before I met my wife-to-be, soon.

I exit the gas station and throw my duffel bag over my shoulder, walking to Katherine's house. I pick some flowers on the way, her favorite: dandelions hoping it'll make up for my shitty appearance.

When I arrive at her house, I fix my shirt, wiping off the pollen that got onto it. I walk up to the porch in my combat boots, knocking on the door, I put my shaky hands together to stop them from shaking and smile wide, waiting for the love of my life to rush into my arms.

The door opens and I'm met with nothing but dissapointment as Elena answers, looking as if she just saw a ghost.  
"D-damon?" She asks, looking at me.  
I nod, tapping my foot against the porch.  
"Where's Katherine?" I ask, leaning on the door frame.  
"Wait, what are you doing here? Is Stefan home too?" She peers over my shoulder, expecting him to surprise her.  
I shake my head at her delusional mind and sigh deeply.  
"Stefan's not here. Where is Katherine?" I ask in a cold tone.  
Elena stares at me in disbelif, as she touches her necklack on her chest.  
"Where is he?" She asks, looking at me, raising an eyebrow.  
"He's gone and he's not coming back, at least not in your lifetime." I say simply, waiting for her to answer my previous question.

"What? How could he just do that to me?" She yells, angry.  
"Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to." I say, staring at her tears. They dont even affect me, not a single bone in my body wants to comfort her.  
"He wanted you to have this though." I add, taking the letter out of my duffelbag.  
Stefan gave me that later for safekeeping, ordered me to give it to her as soon as I saw her.  
She takes the letter with shaky hands.  
"She-s shes at the hospital on 16th." She says as she stares at me, closing the door in my face.

I look at the closed door for a moment and then throw my duffel bag on my shoulder's again.

What was Katherine doing at the hopsital, anyways? I wonder as I walk away from the house, I keep a steady pace to the hospital even though my back hurts from carrying this duffel bag. I get to the hospital, wondering where she could be. My mind wanders back to her letters if she told me anything about someone at the hospital she visited. When I come up blank I decide to just ask the nurse. 

"Hello, have you seen a girl around here? Tall bout 5'7 curly brown hair?" I ask the nurse and she tries to remember if she has or not. 

"Oh yes I saw her go into the first room on the right when you go downstairs." I thank her and walk down there, I feel my palms begin to sweat at the anticipation.

I see a brown door at the end of the hall, replaying the directions the nurse told me. That should be it.

I feel my heartbeat begin to pick up when I realize that door is the only thing in the way of my fiances arms around me again, I walk to the door, my heart beat picking up at every step.

I fix my hair and outfit, smiling wide as I get to the door but before I open it I see a girl and a boy in a tight embrace, the girl is shaking slightly, as the boy rubs her back. The girl has dark brown curly hair, pulled into a long braid down her back. I peer closer and see the boy to be my best friend, the one friend that I kept through all the years, the one I thought would be dead when I came back. The girl pulls back and wipes her tears with shaking hands.

She stands up and pats Grant's shoulder, which seems to be very small at the view I am in. I glance at the girl again and see she has a belly, no, that's not Katherine. I shake my head in disbelif, but as soon as she turns around she wipes another tear from her eye.

Her engagement ring, my grandmother's ring gleams in the sunlight, and for a second I think I am seeing things. They weren't just hugging, were they? I put my hand on the window, wanting her to look at me, I'm over here Katherine, can't you see? I made it home to you I want to scream but the air I was finally holding leaves my mouth as she steps to the door I step away from it, my heart racing as I turn my back as she opens the door.

I ball my fists up at my side, and watch her from the corner of my eye. She stops dead in her tracks and for a second I think she's going to say excuse me and move past me but as I feel her touch on my back, I know she has recgonized me.

"D-Damon." She chokes out and I close my eyes, at the sound of her voice.

Oh how I have missed that sweet, sweet voice. The things I wanted to trade for her voice saying my name like right now was too many. She doesnt remove her hand from my back as I turn around, studying her face.

It's almost as beautiful as I rememberd it, her brown eyes gleaming in tears, her ruby lips slightly open at the sight of me. I don't say anything as I take her in her apperance, her checkered red dress, slides down to her knees, she's wearing black flats but the only thing I notice is her stomach, my child, living in her womb. The sight of it knocks the wind out of me and I struggle to catch my breath, my hands still balled into fists at my sides.

She stares at me and when she realizes the words won't come out she stops touching my cheek, a shiver passes through me and the side she was touching feels cold. 

"Damon, what are you doing back here? I can't believe it's you." She says, staring at me, her eyes showing tears. 

"When did you get back?" She adds.

 **Katherine's POV**

I stare at the man before me, tears threaten to spill from my eyes as I take him in. He seems almost like a ghost, hallow cheeks, his blue eyes that once gleamed of mishief have no spark left in them. Dark circles under his eyes, he looks so damn tired. I noticed as I touched his cheek, his eye winced in pain, I didn't realize I was touching his bruises when I pulled my hand away and saw he had yellow over his eyebrow bone, going down to his cheek.

His posture was slumped, like he was in imense pain but didn't want me to know about it. His body scrawny, like he wasn't eating properly. He looked like a mess. This isnt the man I saw five months ago, springing with life at every step. Now all that was left seems to be a broken shell of a man, fighting sleep, not eating, drowing in unexplained misery.

He doesn't answer so I do the thing I know I shouldn't do in this situation.

I lean down and kiss him. A simple kiss but I feel my inside warming up as his lips respond to mine, I reach up and wrap my arms around his skinny neck, needing to be closer to him, wanting him to know I missed him so badly, this all I thought about through the lonely months.

I almost pull back when I feel him stiffen at my touch, but slowly his arms wrap around me too, pulling me closer to him, my stomach against his. He hands around my waist, sending shivers down my spine. I feel dizzy as his tongue collides with mine. All I can think in this moment is how much I love him, how against all odds he made it back to me. I smile through the kiss, threading my fingers into his messy black hair while he plays with the braid down my back.

"D-did you feel that?" I whisper, looking into his blue eyes, they begin to light up just like old times. 

He nods, closing his eyes, his lips curled downwards. 

I take his black and blue bruised hand and press it to my midsection just like I did five months ago. 

"That's your baby, Damon. Kicking with all his might, saying hello to his daddy for the first time." I smile, tears in my eyes as I look up at him.  
He keeps his hand pressed to my stomach until he feels the baby kick again, a slow smile erupting on his tired face. 

I giggle for the first time in months as I feel him kick again.  
I can tell though in his face he's struggling with something, pain or guilt, it's almost like he's struggling to believe me and it hurts like hell. 

"Damon, what are you thinking." I ask him, touching his bruised face, he licks his lips as if he's thinking of an answer.  
I wait patiently, stroking the stuble on his cheek, I had just noticed it was there, being up close. 

"What were you doing with Grant?" He whispers, as I stroke his cheek. 

I stare at him in disbelif, did he think I was with Grant or something? Didn't he know I was waiting for him to come home, every day, I waited for a letter that never came, my dad told me to give up on you, but I didn't. The lonliness killed me! I wanted to scream but I know he's not trying to pick a fight, and with the state I'm in right now, Im frankly too tired to fight. 

"I visit him all the time, he just needs a friend." I assure him as I stop stroking his cheek in a loving manner, but instead stare into his blue eyes, that seem suspicious at first, but turn relax when they look into mine.  
"I'm sorry from the window it just looked less then platonic." He says, his voice hoarse.  
I take my hand off his cheek, staring at him in anger.  
"Damon, I would never... I cant believe you think..." I trail off, thinking of a sentence that will piss him off.

"What do you think this is Grant's baby?" I yell, looking at him with anger.  
He shakes his head no, looking like he just got punched in the gut, I see him struggling with his words but I don't want to hear his lame excuse. 

So I grab his shaking hand and lead him to the front desk, hoping he'd believe me by now.  
The nurse exchanges glances between us, more focused on Damon who looks like he's going to snap at any minute. 

"Can I help you, Katherine?" She asks, and Damon stares at me for a second as to ask how she knows you by name. 

"Yes, my fiance is finally here, can you show him my medical records for the past five months, please." She nods and I wait as she goes to the filing cabient, taking them out. She hands them to me and I turn to Damon with the folder, I put it in his hands, and he looks at me and then down at it. 

"Go ahead." I say, suggesting that he open it. 

He looks at it for a second, and then he slowly opens it, his eyes scan the first page and then the second and then the third and he shakes his head lightly. 

"What the hell is "hyperemesis gravidarum"? He asks, in a whisper.  
The nurse looks at him, suprised. 

"It's when you have severe morning sickness, almost to the point where you can't fuction. Katherine has been in the hospital for months, suffering from it.  
He closes the files and looks at me. 

"Why didn't you write me?" He asks, his tone is angry.  
I laugh at his bitter attitude. He had no right to be bitter at me. 

"Oh that's rich. You're mad at me? You didn't even reply to my letters, I had no idea where you were!" My voice raises, looking at him.  
He sinks back as if he's been burned but and for a brief moment there's a flash of guilt on his face. 

"I didn't know so so, please dont take it out on me." He says, his eyes softening. I ignore his eyes softening because I know one mintue later he'll just be mean with me.  
I cross my arms over my chest, giving him a pointed look. 

"I just don't get why you would say those things." I whisper, as tears fill my eyes, accused of sleeping with his best friend, that hurt far worse then I could imagine.  
I turn away from him, walking away, leaving him with the files of my sickness and walking away from the man who just broke my heart.

 **Damon's POV**

I swallow hard at the news I had just recieved. Katherine has been severely sick during her pregnancy. I wasn't there to help her, and I just watched her walk away from me.

What the hell was wrong with me? Why didn't I chase after her, tell her I never thought those things? I feel my face begin to heat up in rage. I race down the tiled hallway to the nearest bathroom. 

Once I get in there, I hold my head as images of the war invade my brain, the men on the battlefiled screaming and covered in blood is my lattest memory. 

Ever since I had come back though, I randomly got these flashes in my mind, usually when I held my head they went away. But this time they weren't going away. I groan in pain and I feel my body shaking underneath me. Images of my brother covered in someone's else blood, mud on his uniform and face now occupy my mind.

Stefan. 

The one person I tried to block out, was now in my head full force. I hold my head as I see him, fighting in the field, tending to patients, feeding me soup. I feel tears sting my eyes as I relive old memories. Him sitting on that metal chair all night.

Then there was the parts of him I never wanted to him to know I saw. The screaming and the kicking at my bed, waking me up in the middle of the night. I watched in horror as he dug his nails into his skin, almost like he was reliving an old nightmare. But what did I do during this time? I didn't help him like I should of. Instead I watched him suffer, knowing if I suggested anything he would be angry at me. And I couldnt bear the thought of losing Stefan to the rage he thought he hid so well. 

So yes, my brother losing himself was my fault. I let go of my aching head and look at the mirror bitterness raging through me. 

"Why do you get to come out alive?" I ask myself, pointing at the mirror, hard.  
"You should be there and Stefan should be here, why didn't you stay, why, why, why." I ask myself in the mirror, my tired eyes showing rage and my reflection staring back in contempt. 

I tighten my hand into a fist, and do the one thing that will take away all the suffering, I punch the mirror, not even gasping as the glass cuts my skin, the pieces fall down all around me and I look up, half the mirror is still intact, the good part of my face is gone, all that is left is the ugly. I laugh at the realization how ironic that is.

The army has changed me. The good part of me is gone, the only thing left is like the face that is left on the mirror, a broken, cold, man without a single person to love him. I realize that this must be my fate now, I stare down at my bloody hand, a shard of glass sticking out,

I pull the glass out with a grunt and watch my hand bleed more. But not a single thing goes through my body, it's like I'm immune to all the pain. I'm shaking though, I can feel it. Sweat over my forehead, making me feel dizzy and light headed. I sigh deep and grab some paper towels, wiping away the blood. I open the door and see Katherine standing there, her eyes drift to my hand and back to my face, shock is written all over my face and even a little confusion. 

"Oh my god, what did you do? Nurse, nurse please help." She yells and suddenly I cant see anything, it's like the blood loss has finally made me weak. 

All I see is her sweet face, yelling for help and I feel myself smile as I sink down, the world fading before me. 

She stares down at me, tears in her brown eyes. 

"Stay with me Damon, please." She whispers, as she strokes my hair and it feels so light it's like a feather. 

I stare at her, I still feel the smile on my face, I reach up with my good hand and touch her face, but shes holding my bloody hand with her clean one, against her chest as a nurse, lifts me up on a stretcher. 

I know she was worried, that much was apparent but all I could think is I was finally at peace after all the long sleepness nights, this was peace and I never want to wake up and face reality again.

I groan in pain, groggy as I wake up. I blink my eyes open a few times, remembering my surroundings, where I am. I sit up in bed with a start and feel a warm hand against mine. 

"S-stefan?" I mumble, questioning who ever is sitting there.  
I groan when I feel a prick in my hand, making my heart beat pick up.  
To which I hear in a beep at my left, I'm connected to a heart montior, the pain still overbearing in my wounded hand.  
I blink twice until I feel the hand on my face, it's only then do I finally see who the hand belongs to. 

"Katherine!" I exclaim, looking at her. Now I remember what happened. I punched the mirror.  
Her lip trembles, she bites it gently , tears in her eyes.

"Damon, oh my god you're alright." She whispers, stroking my hand with her thumb.  
"I punched the mirror.." is all I say, staring at my left hand that has stiches on it. 

Part of me is also wondering why Katherine came back for me when all I did was hurt her but I don't say these things too lost in my guilt over Stefan to care. My brother who was suffering way more then me, who sacerficed his freedom so I could come home. And now all I wanted to do was cry, but I couldn't I had to be strong for him. If he saw me like this, right now he would be ashamed. 

"Yes.. you got stitches." She gently lifts my hand up to my face so I can inspect it. .  
I look at the jagged stiching of my hand, not feeling anything.  
I notice Katherine's worried expression. 

"But I'm okay, now." I say, pulling my hand away.  
She looks hurt but recovers quickly. 

"Yes. You are. But..." She bites her lip gently again and I recgonize this is what she does when she doesn't want to upset me.  
"But?" I press on, looking at the way her lip is trembling. I almost want to reach out and touch it, to stop it, but I refrain myself.  
"You're not alright' Damon. I know you. This isn't how you deal with things... you've become cold and distant. And I know what you're thinking yes, maybe I won't understand the new you, I won't understand the cold nature but I still want to help you, I still love you Damon. So please, let me in." Her voice breaks at the last sentence and she gently grabs my hand.

The feeling of a warm hand in mine but brings back unwanted memories, all the night's Stefan held my hand, waiting with tired eyes for me to wake up. 

"I dont know... how could you possibly love me like this? I punched a mirror Katherine! I pulled the glass out of my hand and I felt nothing! Doesn't that scare you?" I shout, gripping her hand. 

She tries to pull her hand back but I continue to squeeze it, losing myself in my head.  
Flashes of the war invade my brain again, making me angry, all the dead bodies I encountered, the nights sleeping in the trenches, praying to God nothing was going to happen to be as the rain poured down on my head. Suddenly I am brought back to reality when I see Katherine's face in pain. 

"Damon, you're hurting me." She rasps in a shallow voice and its only do I look down I see I have squeezed her hand so hard that it's turning red. I let go of her hand, my palm sweaty from all the force I put on her. I stare at her, my eyes wide and my mouth open. 

She looks at her hand, rubbing it, I see tears fall down her face. 

My heart breaks at what I've just done. I stare at my hand, and as I feel tears spring in my eyes. 

"I... I don't know what happening to me." I yell, closing my eyes tight, I feel the tears down my cheeks, dripping from my nose. They taste like salt and biterness.

"I don't know.. I-." I hiccup, feeling sick to my stomach at the pain.  
"I... m sorry." I wipe at the tears on my face, rocking in my hospital bed.  
"I-m im so sorry." I whisper, putting my the back of my hand over my forehead in agitation.  
I take in a shallow breath, the tears blurring my vision.  
"I'm a monster, I'm a monster." I mumble as I rock back and forth.

I look up, watching Katherine stare at me.  
"Katherine, please, I'm sorry." I whisper as I reach for her hand. She lets me, probably hoping it'll calm me down, even though I don't deserve it.

I feel my heart beat begin to pick up again, the montior beeping unsteadily at her saying my name. Suddnely, it is like I am back with Stefan again, laying on that stretcher as I watch his relaxed face. I see his bloody hand as I reach out and touch it again, but I feel it fading from me, as Katherine touches my shoulder again, her hand warm against my shaking shoulder. 

"No, Katherine, get out of here." I yell, shaking her shoulder off. Desperate to see my brother's face one last time even in this vision. 

"I'm not going anywhere." She says firmy as she lays her hand on my shoulder again, steadying it with her feather light touch.  
Suddenly I rise up from the bed, biting my lip at the pain. 

"I said get out, please." I plead in a hushed tone. I didn't want her to continue seeing me like this, she didn't need to know this part of me.

She gets close my my face, stubborn is written all over it.  
"I said no." She stares at me, not breaking eye contact, her eyes showing anger.

I stare down at her detrmined eyes, her mouth in a straight line.  
"I could hurt you, again. ." I say, fearing the visions would come any mintue to take me away to my own personal hell again.  
"You won't." She says firmly, placing her warm hand over mine, that is still sweating from the trauma I endured.  
"Please, let me understand, what happened to you over there?" She whispers.

"Help me understand." She says again, and I close my eyes, swallowing.  
"I...it was horrible." I let out an exspirated sigh. She stares at me, waiting for me to go on.  
I stare at her also, silent.  
"Why was it horrible?" She repeats.

I form the words, carefully but there's no easy way to say I witnessed a million deaths, and each one left me a little more fucked up, that I watched my comrades die, from getting shot, their blood being splattered every where like paint on a painting in the open field. I promised some of them home coming but couldn't keep up without being shot so I left them there, to die. Because I was too weak.  
I stare at her, I feel my lips tremble slightly. 

"It changed me Katherine, the war.." I stare at her chosing my words carefully, the last thing I wanted was for her to walk away from me. I don't plan on letting her go ever again.  
"I thought it would be easy, they painted a beautiful picture, those recruiters, coming home, being a hero, paying back your country for what they've done for you. But, when you get there you realize this isn't what the recruiters promised. There was no fun, be friending people and watching them die before your eyes."

"Watching as boys younger then me die on the open field." I shudder at the thought, picturing the boys I met along the way. 

"It isn't fun to come back and have these intense visions of the times you spent in the open field, reliving every machine gun shot, relieving the bullets whiz past as you as you run for your life, unsure if you're going to make it or not. It isn't fun to try to block out someone and you can visions of them tending to you, slowly losing themselves as you recover and you don't say anything because you don't want to upset them. My brother, he stayed and I.." I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose to stop from crying. 

"I... it's all my fault, there I said it. It's my fault!" I yell, sinking back on the bed, my hands fidgeting in my lap.

She stares at me, furrowing her eyebrows as if she doesn't understand.  
I sigh deep and lift up my shirt, showing her the dressing over my gun shot wound. 

"Stefan saved my life and this is how I repay him." I say bitterly, watching as she stares at the wound on my lower back. She covers her mouth with her hands, she's trying hard not to cry I can tell.  
"I don't understand." She says, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Stefan.. he was there, also wounded from a gunshot but he started to take care of me after I made a deal with the doctor. I would serve the rest of the term if they let Stefan take care of me, because I knew how much he loved helping people and I knew he wanted to protect me. So I started to make a deal but the docotor wouldn't have it because before that Stefan beat the living crap out of him. I know, my brother hitting someone? Impossible. My lips twitch a little bit but I don't smile at the thought because it isn't funny. 

"Long story short they kept him there for punishment and sent me home." I say, watching her facial expression soften a little. 

"But when I was there with him, something changed in him, I noticed it right away, he didn't eat, but when he did it was toast or something light. There's no way you can get full on just one piece of toast. He didn't sleep but when he did... it was like living hell for him. He didn't talk about the nightmares much, said they'd go away on their own. I never believed him, not even for a second that he was okay. He tried to hide his suffering but I knew. And I didn't say anything. I watched him suffer. I watched him change, without even a care! I say, my voice rising at each word.

"So yes, I ruined him. I wasn't there for him when he needed me, most."  
I feel my stomach being to flip flop as if someone was putting pressure on it. I look down, tears flooding my blue eyes.

"But you know what the worst part is, Katherine? When I hugged him last and told him my goodbyes, kissed his head like a good brother, but when I pulled back to tell him I loved him, I realized that it was much worse then I thought. I could literally feel his bones through his shirt, his lively green eyes he once had was turned to specks of sorrow and regret and depression. He didn't even smile at me. He faked it oh yeah, but it wasn't genuine. And thats what hurts so fucking much. He lost himself because of me. And I was selfish to see it."

I don't let her hold my hand or even touch me, she tries to but I just hang my head in shame. I watch as the tears fall on my bed.

"Damon... it's not your fault, you said the war it changes people." I shake my head at her words, wiping the tears. 

"Damon, look at me." She whispers, tilts my head up with the index of her finger, I stubbornly meet her eyes.  
"I know you're scared, I know. But you need to fight this, be strong for Stefan. I know it's not fair being world's apart right now... but he'd want you to be happy, I'm almost sure of it. He risked his life so you can come back here to me." Her voice catches at the last part and I know she is about to join me in this crying war. 

"Get better, write him Damon, even your words they can have an impact on him. I'm sure of that to, just please don't give up hope. He needs you, Damon." She stares into my eyes and I close my eyes as I feel her gently brush my tears away. Her touch brings heat to my face and I never want it to go away.  
I touch her wrists gently, just holding them.

"Come back to the house with me." She whispers.  
My eyes snap open I begin to protest but she puts a finger to my lips.


	9. You Returned To Me

_New chapter is up, so sorry I couldn't update! I really hope you enjoy this, I'm going to post another one, but this is just basically DK connecting again after being apart for so long, enjoy :)_

My eyes snap open I begin to protest but she puts a finger to my lips.  
"Your mother will be so glad to have you home, Damon. You're all she talked about for five months. She missed you so much. I know you think you're a disappointment coming back here with no war medal but you're the bravest man ever, after all the things you've been through, Damon. Its amazing how you're still standing." She whispers, still brushing the tears from my eyes.

I gulp, my eyes still closed.  
"I.. I... Okay." I finally say, agreeing. I knew my mother would be thrilled to have me back home. I know she missed me also. Judging from all the letters I got from her during the war. But what I could not take was my father, gloating to my face, saying he knew I didn't know what it took to be a real man. Probably throwing insults at me every chance he got. The thought makes me ball my fists again. Katherine notices and takes my shaking fists in her own.

"I know you're worried about your father." She says, rubbing my hands with her thumb, trying to soothe me. I almost smile because of how perceptive she of me, it's nice when people memorize certain details about you and she always did. It makes sense why I would marry her. She's the only one who takes my monsters, my insecurities on with me, she helps me fight them, she sees the good in everything, even in the dark stuff. That is why she's my light. I'm pretty sure if I wanted to kill someone she would be there with our escape plan. I chuckle at the thought and then look at her and nod.

"I am worried." I admit, sighing in defeat.  
"Don't be." She says, squeezing my hand reassuringly.  
"He's just a man, he doesn't define your life. Don't you ever let him decide your worth. I let my father for years and it was honestly heartbreaking trying to find myself and build myself back up." She sighs deeply, her thumb still brushing against the pulse point on my hand.

I smile at her, reaching out at a piece of hair that fell out of her braid, I tuck it behind her ear and she smiles back at me, kissing my hand.  
"Come on, let's go home." She says, raising from the bed and sticking her hand out to me.  
I stare at her hand, uncertain if I was going to make it or not, but when she wraps her hand around mine in comfort I realize that I don't need anyone by my side. Just her. I grasp on her hand and pull myself out of the bed.

I grab her hand and we check out of the hospital, giggling like newly weds on their first honey moon. We walk outside on the street and I hail a taxi, opening the door for her as she steps in. I follow her after, telling the taxi driver or address and he speeds off to the final destination. She doesn't let go of my hand as she places it on her lap as I look out the window, admiring the sun set.  
"You know the sunset reminds me of when you first proposed." She says, playing with the ring on my finger.  
I smile out the window, and then turn to her even in the dim light of the cab I see her cheeks are red, her eyes sparkling in the breif light the orange sunset gives us, so I can see her.  
"I think about that a lot, too." I whisper, pressing a kiss to her forehead.  
Her head leans against my shoulder and she closes her eyes, humming in content.  
"If you told me I'd be sitting in a cab on the way to my fiance's house with him in the back, holding me like this, today. I'd say you're crazy." She laughs, and the sound brings joy to my ears.  
"Well, also mark me insane, too. I'm so glad I got to be with you today..." I mumble, taking her hand and kissing it. Her skin soft against my lips.  
I feel her smile against my neck.  
"Even the bad parts?" She whispers, stroking my hair, sending instant shivers down my spin.  
I nod, smiling.  
"Even the bad parts." I mumble, as the cab pulls in the driveway of my house.  
I let go of her and dig out my wallet, handing the guy the money. He thanks me and I look at Katherine, giddy with excitement.  
"Ready, Mrs. Salvatore." I tease, gently placing her hand back in mine.  
"Ready." She confirms, opening the cab door and stepping out with me. The night has settled in now, as the wind blows, I take off my jacket and put it over her care shoulders, she smiles, touched at the gesture. I put my arm around her, walking towards the back way. I knew my parents were sleeping and I didn't want to wake them.  
"Why are we going this way?" She whispers, trying not to laugh.  
"It's faster. I'd hate to wake my mother up." I whisper as we step on the wet grass, my shoes making more noise then they should be, Katherine covers her mouth and giggles, making my insides warm again.  
"Shhh, kitten." I whisper, guiding her towards me in the dark. She is pressed against me, and I have to bite back a moan because it just feels too good.  
There was no light and it was damn near impossible to see but we knew our way. This was rookie practice, we've done it more then once before.  
That's why I'm not amazed when she opens the window without a second glance as to where it is.  
She climbs through first and I help her, gently pushing her butt in. She doesn't stumble and when she goes inside she flicks on the light and I climb in to, placing my feet on my wooden floor.  
She bites her lip at me, watching me.  
I watch her too, confused at why she's staring at me like this, but damn its hot as well.  
She walks over to me, her teeth still biting her lip.  
I stand still, watching her eyes glaze over in lust.  
Oh boy.  
I let out a shaky breath and I feel my stomach tighten, she was making me hard on purpose.  
Both her hands reach up and grab onto my shirt, pulling me into a searing kiss.  
I kiss her back, my cold hands from outside roaming her warm body, making me feel dizzy.  
She moans into my mouth as I grip her ass, pulling her dangerously close to me.  
I bite her bottom lip gently, sucking on it.  
She threads her fingers in my messy hair, pulling on it.  
My tongue enters her mouth, exploring it.  
She pulls back and doesnt break eye contact with me as her needy hands run down the front of my shirt, she grabs my white shirt, my heart racing at her next move.  
I am completely blown away when she rips it off, watching as the remains fall to the wooden floor.  
She grabs the back of my head and puts her lips to mine again, making me lose all control of my mind.  
I knead her ass with my hands, pressing her close to my growing eraction. When she rubs against it, I shudder into the kiss, sweat begins to collect on my forehead.

I close my eyes and runs my fingers through her hair as her mouth hovers over mine.  
I find the back of her dress, my fingers land on the zipper, unzipping it. My eyes watch as it falls to the floor, I gasp when I see what she's wearing undernearth. A black lacy bra and no panties.  
I close my eyes for a second, getting harder by the mintue.  
"I took them off when we were stumbling in that dark to your window." She explains, smirking against my neck.  
"You little minx." I mumble, hornier now then ever as I pull her closer, my lips connecting to her tender neck, scraping my teeth against it as I bite down. My hands exploring down to her stomach, stopping just above her core.  
"P-please." She whispers, running her fingers through my hair again.  
"Please touch me, Damon." Her lip bites my ear gently, sending shivers down my spine.  
I groan low, lifting her up, gently laying her down on the bed, I slowly get on top, careful not to put any pressure on her stomach.  
"Are you sure we can do this?" I ask,pressing my lips against the sweet spot on her neck. She archs are back in response.  
"Y-yes." She mumbles, digging her nails in the back of my neck, I groan and slide my hand up her thigh, stopping at the inner part.  
I look down at her, her eyes like a lion, ready to attack me at any given mintue, her cheeks flushed, her mouth trembling slightly, as she bites her lip.  
"Are you sure?" I whisper, putting my hand higher on her inner thigh.  
"Hmm." She moans a yes and I feel the heat radiating off her core.  
She's soaked down there already, I can feel it as I slide my hand higher.  
"Come on.. do it." She says, keeping her nails dug into the back of my neck.  
I gently slide to her core, pressing my fingers against her nub.  
She writhes under me in pleasure, letting go of my neck. Her nails dig into my shoulder now, and its making me hard against her again.  
I slip a finger in, working up and down as she bites her lip, throwing her head back.  
"You want more?" I whisper against her neck, giving her a love bite on her weakest spot.  
"Dam-on." She moans, closing her eyes.  
"You gotta be quiet, kitten." I smirk as I add add another finger, she's so tight and Im so hard and I can't help thinking how much pleasure my dick would get out of it.  
"A little to the left." She mumbles, eyes still closed.  
I almost choke on my spit as she says this, as I rub her swollen nub with my thumb, pushing in and out with my fingers.  
She leans in her lips on my ear.  
"Iv'e had plenty practice since you were away." She moans.  
I close my eyes, trying not to picture her touching herself while I am away, because I swear to God she's going to make me blow a load right now.  
"Bet your fingers didn't feel as good as mine." I taunt her, increasing the pace ans chuckling softly as her smirk turns into a face of pleasure.  
I know she's close.

I know she's close, she's shaking underneath me and just as I'm about to do the final thrust, her walls clench around my finger and she comes, I cover her moan with hand as she breaths heavily against it.  
She tilts her head back and laughs, still panting.  
"God, I missed that." She whispers against my lips, kissing them.  
"Me too." I mumble, my erection uncomfortable against the bed.  
"It wouldnt feel as good as this though." She whispers, rubbing the fabric of my jeans lightly. Tingles go down my spine and my breath hitchs as she increases the pressure.  
She pulls off my belt slowly, taunting me with her hand over my erection.

She pulls off my belt slowly, taunting me with her hand over my erection.  
"Nobody likes a tease, Katherine." I say, bringing my hand down on her butt, spanking her.  
She gasps but laughs, unbuttoning the botton on my blue jeans.  
She pulls down the zipper and I feel myself wet against my boxers.  
Fuck she was teasing me and I didn't like it.  
I grit my teeth as she slowly slides down my pants, making it on purpose that seam of my jeans slide against my erection.  
A smirk is forming her lips, like the devil.  
She gets my pants half way down my ankles along with my boxers. My dick comes out of it's confinement, hard.  
She grabs the top, rubbing her hand down it.

I bit my lip, leaning into the crook of her neck.  
She rubs my dick harder, and I feel it twitch in her hand, I look towards her again, her face and turned into a bunch of stars and I start to feel my stomach tighten. I keep my face at the crook of her neck, kissing her pulse point, slowly. She moans low pumping up and down.  
"K-katherine." I moan, trying to be quiet, tingles shoot down my legs, I know I am getting close.  
I think I'm almost there when she lowers her mouth onto my tip, I shut my eyes tight, her tongue sliding down my dick.  
"Oh fuck." I mumble, keeping my hands in her hair.  
The tighter I grip the harder she sucks.  
I feel the room spin around me, my eyes still squeezed shut, it's only then do I see fireworks in my head and my head pounds achingly do I come.


	10. I'll Crawl Home

_**(A/N: a flash forward for datherine who are now living in their own apartmemnt, Grant is a new born, Stefan is still overseas, hope you enjoy this, please review and rate! thank you for all the lovely things you say, they make me want to continue this :) )**_

I get to our son's nursery, and there he is crying, squeaking a little, which puts a smile on my face.  
"Well, aren't you a little trouble maker." I whisper, watching him scream at the top of his lungs.  
I cradle him in my arms, and he instantly stops crying, but I hear him squeaking, his tiny hands trying to grasp mine.  
"Are you hungry or did you poop?" I mumble, hoping it's the first, I lay him down on the changing table, opening the buttons of his onesie, I open his tiny diaper, checking for any poop. I sigh in relief when there is none.  
"You're such a trouble maker." I laugh, picking him up.  
I carry him with me to the kitchen, looking through the darkness for a bottle.  
I find one on the counter, Katherine must of left it there for nights like these. I take a moment to thank God for my smart wife

I pick it up, checking if it's room tempture, Katherine was very stern about these things and she hated it when I gave him cold milk. I cradle him in my arms, his blue eyes alert and looking around.  
"Alright lets get you a fed. So daddy can go back to sleep." I smile down at him, slowly putting the top of the bottle in his mouth, after many seconds of coaxing and wiggling it around he finally latches, sucking on it.  
I hold him, his blue eyes roll to the back of his head, losing himself in the goodness.  
"Alright no choking buddy." I sigh when he coughs and I take out the bottle, lifting him upright, supporting his tiny neck

I sigh when I think about how Stefan fed me, almost like this, when I was weak and defenseless. The way he always fed me even when he was tired. A tear rolls down my cheek as I look down at Grant, I pat his back gently, coaxing him to burp.

He burps finally and I laugh, holding him again, I gently rock him back and forth.  
"I can't wait for you to meet your uncle Stefan, you're gonna love him, he was such a childish thing. I laugh as I think about the times mother let me feed Stefan as a kid, I was so afriad I was going to snap his neck while holding him. Although, Stefan was a lot bigger then Grant is right now. I laugh again, thinking about how I used to call him chubby bunny.

I rock Grant gently and he squeaks again, probably fighting off sleep.  
"I know buddy but you gotta sleep." I sigh, taking him out of our kitchen, and back to his nursey. I knew I wasn't going to get back to sleep anyways so I sit down in the rocking chair, rocking Grant in it as he finally stills. I watch his eyes close and I know sleep has taken over. I feel my own eyes drooping.

I close my eyes, holding Grant.  
I am in a field of dandelions.  
Probably about 7 years old, watching as Stefan runs with his chubby legs towards me. I pick him up, spinning him around, his cheeks flushed, probably from the red sun.

I put Stefan down, sitting as the grass he sits with me, his four year old brain full of annoying questions that I answer.  
"Day day... flowers." He giggles and hands me one.  
I take it and smile.  
"Do you know what you do we these flowers?" I ask, smling.  
He makes a crinkled face, probably over thinking his little brain.  
"No, what Day?" He asks, a confused look on his face.  
"Here I'll show you." I whisper as I take a dandelion from his hand. I watch him watching me, his green eyes filled with wonder. I close my eyes.  
"You make a wish." I say, showing him that I am making one.  
"And then you..." He stares at me confused waiting for me to do something.  
"BLOW." I yell, blowing the seeds from the dandelions.  
He giggles and claps his hands, catching them with his little fingers.  
"That's fun Day!" He exclaims, standing up and picking some more, I watch in glee as he blows them out, watching as the seeds scatter in the wind.

I smile as he comes back to me, handing me some.  
"What do you wish for?" He asks me, furrowing his eyebrows.  
I'm about to answer but I feel myself being woke up.  
I groan at the person shakinf me, trying to fight my concious for this dream. I don't want to wake up, please stop waking me up.  
The hand gets harder and I watch as four year old Stefan fades away along with the dandelions. I open my eyes and see I am back in Grant's nursery, I look down and see the baby cradled in my arms.  
I wish for you to come back safely brother, I wish for you to come home to me. I think, sighing deeply. My heart sinks in sadness as I glance up to see Katherine standing over me her arms crossed, I can tell she's not happy with me.

"What the hell were you thinking, Damon?" She says, her voice raising.  
I groan, confused.  
"What?" I ask, making sure Grant is comfortable.  
"You fell asleep with our baby in your arms! You could of dropped him!" She yells, taking him from me.  
I roll my eyes, ever since we got back from the hospital Katherine has been acting so overprotective it was starting to drive me insane.

"I'm sorry." I mumble, standing up as I stretch out my back.  
I decide to swallow my pride and apologize as quick as I can, usually she forgave me.  
She waves her hand at me, setting Grant down in the bassinet again.  
She is definitely pissed now.

I want to yell at her. This is the best sleep I got in months! Can't you see I'm falling apart? Don't you care? But I refrain myself because it's not her job to fix me.

She walks out of the room, without taking a glace at me, but I hear her banging pots and pans around in the kitchen.

I sigh deeply and run my fingers through my messy hair. I hate it when Katherine get like this. When she was angry, she was unpredictable like a hurricane and a lot of the times I didn't know how to deal with her. Before walking out the room I check on Grant and smile lightly as I see him sleeping, his black eyelashes fluttered down, his nose crinkled, probably from the lamp next to his bed. I make a note to shut it off as I run my hand down his face, gently. My son, the one who kept me sane through all of this, my rock is sleeping peacefully as I watch him. My heart wells up in joy as I walk out of the room, preparing to face the hurricane.

I go to the kitchen, standing in the doorway as I watch Katherine bang the egg on the table, making us breakfast. She's seething with rage and I can tell because she's mumbling Bulgarian and she always did this when she was pissed.  
I step into the kitchen, crossing my arms.

I step into the kitchen crossing my arms over my bare chest.  
She doesn't even look at me while she whisks the eggs in a mental bowl, she slams down the bowl and I'm starting get annoyed.  
"I got him to sleep..." I start to say but then she finally glances my way and if looks could kill, I'd be dead.

"Yes, you did." She agrees, shaking her head.  
I roll my eyes.  
"What, say it. I'm not cut out to be a father." I laugh, not because it's funny but because it's true.  
She shakes her head, pouring the eggs into a pan.  
"No.. that's not true. I just want you to be more careful next time." She says, mixing the eggs with a spatula.

"I was careful." I say, trying to keep my voice low.  
She turns her back to me, getting out some plates. Sometimes she was so stubborn with me. But I knew this wasn't what the fight was about. There was something she was burying deep inside of herself. Me and her weren't that different when it came to anger. We bottled it deep inside until one day we just let it all out on eachother all the biterness, rage, anger. I could tell this was her day.

"Whatever." She says, putting some eggs on a plate.  
I groan low, throwing my hands up in the air.  
"Alright, I just won't hold him anymore, you can do all the work." I spit out in anger, watching her.  
She glares at me and picks up the freshly made plate of eggs, going over to the trash can.  
"Alright, whatever you say sperm donnor." She bites back, dumping my breakfast in the trash.

I glare back at her, feeling my eye twitch slightly.  
She goes back to the stove and starts to put the pot in the sink before before she can I race to her, spinning her around.  
She's caught of guard but she same smirk is crafted on her beautiful face.  
"Sperm donnor, really?" I ask, looking at her.  
"Well, thats how you're acting. You're always at the damn bar, drinking and then you come home at 2 am and expect me to be okay with you leaving me alone for God knows how long with our child? Yeah, no." She takes her hands off me, but I ignore her attempts and push her against the stove.

"Stop." She puts her hand on my chest, I feel my heart beat flutter a little at her touch. But I ignore it.  
"Have you cheated on me?" She whispers, tracing her finger over my heart.  
I'm taken back at this, but I don't let her go.  
"C-cheated on you?" I ask, again to make sure I heard her right.  
She nods her head, looking down at my chest.  
"Have you been sleeping with sluts?" She asks again, but I already knew what she meant the first time.  
"Katherine, no. I wouldn't do that." I say, gently letting her go.  
"So, why do you go out so late?" She asks, crossing her arms over her robe.

I stare into her eyes and their so vunerable that it hurts me. It hurts to think she thought I would ever cheat on her.  
"I... I haven't been sleeping." I confess, slumping in my posture a little.  
She stares at me confused.  
"But you slept fine last night." She says, furrowing her eyebrows.  
"I know... but that's because you were there. I havent slept in weeks before that." I say, biting my lip.  
Her facial expression softens and she gently lays her hand on my cheek, her brown eyes shining.  
"Damon.. I didn't know." She says as she sighs, still caressing my cheek with her fingers.

I look down but she lifts my chin back up with her finger.  
"Hey, you can tell me." She whispers.  
I swallow the lump in my throat and sigh.  
"It's because I keep dreaming about the feild, the men I left behind, their blood on my hands, every time I close my eyes all I hear is machine gun noises, men yelling for me to run, the worst part is I do run, I run as fast as I can and just when i'm about to hit the safe zone, I get shot. In the back. And when I'm lying on the ground, screaming in agony, trying to hold on. I see him.

Stefan, my brother, covered in blood and mud, giving me his hand as he lifts me up onto this stretcher. There's nothing left of him. Just a skeleton under a medic uniform, his hair covered in blood and mud. Dark circles under his eyes, his eyes almost sunk into his skull. And I scream for him, to stop tending for me, he needs to eat, why is he still there? But he keeps saying everything is fine, he's going to be okay as he puts a cloth on my bullet wound, increasing pressure. And just as I'm about to touch him I always wake up." I say, I feel tears slide down my cheeks.

Katherine covers her mouth with her hand, tears sliding down her own cheeks.  
"I'm so sorry." She whispers, gently pulling me into a hug, I allow myself to cry in her arms.

She hugs me tight, smoothing back my hair.  
"Shhh." She whispers, and I close my eyes.  
I shudder, wiping my snotty nose with the back of my hand.  
Suddenly we hear a knock at the door, we both jump, I look at her to ask if we're expecting anyone and she shakes her head slightly.

She shrugs her shoulders as I walk to the door, opening it.

Our mail man, a short guy with a bald head, smiles at me.  
"Your mail for today Mr. Salvatore." He hands me some envelopes, and I take them in my hands, not looking at them. I gave up on Stefan writing to me ages ago, even though I wrote him every week.

I thank him as I sign the clip board and give it back to him. "Thank you." I say sincerly, and he leaves, as I close the door behind him.  
Katherine takes the letters from me, skimming through them.  
"Bills, bills, bills. Gosh we're going to have to start working." She says, as she sighs heavily, handing them to me.  
I nod, agreeing.  
"Oh, you missed one." I say, handing her the last of the bills. I look down at the letter, chills run through me.  
It's a crumpled envelope, very small, so I could see why she missed it. I see it has been forwarded from my mother's house. I hold it with shaky hands, noting Stefan's chicken scratch handwriting. I also used to tease that he wrote like a kindergarten but my heart sinks because maybe this is how he writes now.

I tear open the envelope to find a sentence that made my heart explode. I see he has written something else but blacked it out before hand.

Dear brother, they finally discharged me. I'm coming home.  
-Stefan.  
I drop the letter, dropping to the ground also.


	11. Blood Brothers

Stefan.

I close my eyes for a bit, tapping my foot against the seat behind me. This plane ride was too long and I was starting to get anxious.  
I sigh deeply and grab the pen from the seat behind me and try to do this crossword puzzle.  
My eyes focus on the black and white and suddenly I see them begin to blur. Great, I didnt need to have a terrifying episode right now. The goal was to convince Damon I was fine. I hold my breath like Damon used to do with me before it got this bad but I fail miserable as the pain sets in my chest.  
I couldn't help it pain was the only thing getting me through this.  
I hold my head, flashes of blood fill my brain. Blood of the soldiers, my blood on my pillow when I woke up from biting my lip so hard in the nightmares. I could now identify blood as that which is messed up.

The visions slowy fade, suprisingly . My head pounds, as I unhold it. I reach into my back pocket and pull out the little flask that usually helps me in such emergencies. I swallow the brandy, staring back at the crossword puzzle. When they told me I was being discharged. I laughed in their faces  
When they told me I would be getting discharged. I laughed in their faces. I must have been really fucked up to send me back. They claimed it was because they had enough medics now but I knew they way they looked at me, their lips curled in disgust towards my state. I crossed my arms over my chest as they handed me the pen and paper to write a letter to Damon. I refused at first I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to see the look on my brother's face when he saw me stumble of the plane, pity in his eyes at this monster I have become, numb to everything.  
I swallow a few more sips of brandy, my hands twitch in my lap. I stare down at my knuckles, their swollen from punching the wall in the bathroom, I made a pretty good dent there, too.  
I rub them on my jacket, shivering a little. I could feel my bones under the thin material of my t-shirt but it didn't bother me anymore. I tuck the flask back in my pocket, adjusting my seat.  
I couldnt wait to get off the plane so I would never see these assholes again. I couldn't believe I risked my life for such a corrupt system. I shake my head lightly, leaning it against the seat. I close my eyes, gripping the arm rests between me.  
This is how the nightmares start.  
I feel my head break out into a sweat as I watch the people I save die in their hopsital bed over and over again, their blue lips, screaming my name. Their bony hands clutching onto my arm, leaving marks. Their pale faces marked with anger, their voices laced with anger and they call me a liar. I move my head to the side, wincing at the pain.  
I wince in pain, as I slowly wake up, seeing I dug into my arm in my rough sleep.  
"Dammit." I curse, watching the blood ooze from my stomach, I lift it up and see a stitch got out of my wound. I touch it lightly and the thought of just ripping it out, and bleeding to death flickers in my mind but I shake my head of these thoughts.  
"Now Damon is going to see and get worried." I mumble, closing my eyes, let's see there is a medical box in the bathroom on the plane, prehaps I can take it and stitch myself up. I stand up and feel lightheaded as I grab onto the seat behind me.  
Wow I must have had too much to drink, though I havent eaten so that's probably it. My stomach growls at my recent choices and I ignore it, heading to the bathroom.  
I get to the bathroom, slowly opening the door. It's so small that I have to duck to get in all the way.  
I groan and bang my head on the side of the door, looking for that damn med box. When I see it green and sticking out under the cabinet I grab it and start to get up but I stumble, groaning at part of the stitch, hits my stomach.  
I put my hand over it, closing my eyes. It couldn't be that bad. It was barely bleeding when I checked on it before.  
I sigh deep and head back to my seat, slowly lifting my shirt up. I see a trail of red going down to my black pants.  
"Well that can't be good." I say outloud.  
A tiny bit of panic rushes through me as I grab some napkins, trying to clot all the blood. When it doesn't work I give up and just pray we land soon. My hands snap up at a ding and I see the fasten seatbelt sign as turned off. I look down and remember mine was already off.  
I grab the medical box, opening it seeing all the essential itiems for an emergency like this. I grab the needle, my hands shake.  
"Hey, can one of you assholes help me?" I yell, watching as one soldier wakes up, his eyes widen in horror at the sight of me.  
"What did you do?" He asks me, going over to me.  
"I was going to do it myself but I'd mess it up." I say with a little shrug and he looks freaked out that I'm acting so calm.  
I stare at the wound, as he applys pressure.  
"Alright once this stops bleeding we can stich it." He says, keeping the now soaked red napkins on my lower abdomen.  
"Later is not going to work. I need it now." I grit my teeth as he checks the stichching "As soon as it stops bleeding." He assures me but I shake my head, unsatisfied with this answer.  
"You'll do it now and I won't beat the shit out of you, how's that sound?" I ask in a gruff voice and he sighs.  
"You're a stubborn ass, Salvatore." He says, shaking his hand as he wipes the remaing blood, it finally clots because I see his face light up in relief.  
I give him a cheeky smile at his previous comment.  
"So I'm told." I mumble and then groan as he starts re stitching the rest. There's still tiny drops of blood but I wipe them with my dirty finger, mareveling at the blood.  
He's done in two seconds and I watch as he stands up, grabbing more gauze from the medical box.  
He wraps it around and tightens it by tieing it.  
I grit my teeth as the gauze interferes with my stiching making it hurt for a second.  
I yank my shirt down and thank him gruffly. He nods, though his eyes show concern, but I'm too tired to care. I feel a bump go and I know we have landed.  
I run a hand through my greasy hair, seeing the blood that soaked through my shirt.  
I grumble and pull my jacket over it, zipping it up.  
The rest of the soldiers stand up but I stay seated, not even remotely excited to see Damon.  
You have to fake this. I remind myself. So I stand up and put on our trademark Salvatore smile and prepare for the biggest biggest play of my life. Reassuring my brother, who probably has thought and cried over me for the last six month that I am fine.  
I get off the plane and hug myself in my jacket, I feel the fresh blood wet against my body and cringe a litle bit. I throw on my beret and fake a huge smile. I walk the little path from the plane to the ground.

The flight attendant leads me to back to the building and I open the door, cringing as I feel a tightness in my stomach. These fucking stitches we're going to drive me insane. I ignore the feeling and re adjust my black duffel bag, walking in the building. The first thing I see is a bunch of people awaiting their loved ones, huge signs saying "Welcome home." "We Love You." I scoff at them for being ignorant. and walk past them, my eyes scanning the room for Damon's dark hair and blue eyes amoung the crowd.  
"STEFAN!" A voice says, just as I'm about to be dissapointed. I look up and see my brother's face, fresh with tears, he's wearing black pants and white v-neck, his eyes tired, but full of glee. He races to me as I stand still, over come with a lost emotion: love. He hugs me tight, crying softly in my shoulder. My hands don't know what to do for a second but then I slowly feel my brain reminding me that I love him, he's my brother, and it's not his fault I'm almost beyond repair. I lift my arms up and wrap him around him, hugging him tight. My body shudders from this unwanted feeling. Love and sadness race back to me, the emotions I tried so hard to block out the past six months. I feel tears stream down my cheeks as I hold him tight, afraid to let go, afraid if I do even for a second he'd be  
I sink myself in his warm embrace, crying softly.  
I groan low, making sure he doesn't hear it. The stitches hurt against his powerful hug, he pulls away and looks at me.  
His face full of light, his eyes full of love. He smiles at me wide, punching me lightly. I smile a little, looking at him. There are dark circles under his eyes, too. Probably losing sleep over me, I feel the guilt set in.  
I almost don't know how to react at him standing in front of me. So I just fake the smile I practiced in the mirror the whole ride over.  
"Come on, let's get home." He says, as he picks up my duffel bag.  
I nod, walking with him, my stomach still gurgling to feed it. I feel the fresh blood dripping down my stomach. If I saw that guy that stitched me on the plane right now I'd punch his face in.  
I stagger back a little, praying I don't pass out right now from the blood loss.  
I groan low, trying to keep up with Damon's pace. He turns around a little, watching me, noticing my posture.  
"Hey, are you okay?" He asks, his voice laced with worry as his eye brows furrow in concern.  
I nod, lamely, trying not to hold my stomach in pain.  
"Stefan?" He asks again, walking over to me.  
I grit my teeth, closing my mouth. I just nod, not wanting him to see the pain I'm in. I don't deserve such concern. I'm the one who chose to stay, he shouldn't have to pay for the repruccusions.  
I feel light headed, as my forehead breaks out in a sweat.  
He gently lays his hand over my forehead, a look of more then concern on his face.  
"Stefan, what's wrong are you sick?" He asks me, pulling me over to the side.  
I shake my head no.  
"No, it's okay Damon I can keep going." I say as I start to move but he grabs my shoulder again, making my stomach hurt from the stitches. I hiss at the pain.  
"No' you're not okay." His voice turned from worry to anger. He grabs the zipper on my jacket, tugging it down.  
I'm about to protest but I lean my head against the cool wall, unable to form a sentence. Which was frustrating me. Usually I could talk my way out of things, but not this time.

DAMON

I tug off his jacket, rage disappears to fear as I see he's bleeding through his white shirt. I widen my eyes in horror.  
"What did you do?" I whisper as I look up to see him leaning against the cool part of the wall. His eyes closed, his face in pain.  
"Stefan, what did you do?" I ask, lifting up his shirt, gently.  
I feel my breath catch in my throat as I look at his stitches, open, his wound bleeding down his chest.  
"Oh..my..god." I whisper, panicing.  
"Damon..please." He whispers.  
"No, just stop." I say, my voice raising.  
"We have to get you to the hospital." I say, gently grabbing his arm and hositing half his body weight, over my shoulder.  
I half carry him and his duffel bag out of the airport.  
How could he just lie to me like that? Oh God was I losing my brother? The thought brings tears to my eyes again, as I get to my truck, I open the passenger door, laying him on the seat, I put on his seatbelt my hands shaking as I close the door. More tears flood down my cheeks at his condition. It's all my fault. Thw guilt rises in me as I get into the drivers side, starting my car. I reach over for Stefan's hand, like I did the night I got shot, and I could barely see anything but somehow my brother's hand brought comfort. I hope mine was doing the same. I look at him, his eyes still closed, forehead sweating against the seat.  
"Hold on, Stefan. You're not leaving me." I whisper, as I drive out of the air port parking lot.  
We get to the hospital and I watch as they drag Stefan's thin body into a stretcher, my hand sweaty as I let go of his hand.  
"Please be safe." I whisper to myself, wiping away tears as I watch them wheel him away. I sit on the hospital bench, folding my hands in my lap, I lean my head down, angry at myself. Why would God do this to me? I was already going through enough pain. But honestly, what did I expect? I knew Stefan was going through a hard time when he was right in front of me. I bang my hands against my lap, hitting myself for such stupidity.

 **(A/N: Yay Stefan is back, but what's gonna happen to him? please review and rate, it would mean a lot to me! this is one of my favorite stories I have ever written)**


	12. He Is My Brother

**(A/N: extra long update for you guys, sorry it's so late but I was too lazy o transfer what I had written from my phone to my computer. Well, I finally did, please let me know if you enjoyed this!)**

 **Damon**

It seems like hours have passed when the doctor calls my name. I stand up immediately, my legs shaking underneath me, waiting for Stefan's diagnosis.  
I stare at the doctor, my chest in pain from this whole ordeal.  
His expression softens as he notices my shaking legs.  
"We managed to stitch him up nice and tight before he lost too much blood.. but.. he did lose a lot of blood.."  
I close my eyes, feeling tears drip down my eyes, I wipe them.  
Just say it! I wanna scream at him. Say my brother's dead. I feel my palms clench into fists at my side.  
"We're wondering if you're willing to donate blood, for him. Since your brothers it won't be a problem, of course you can say no but it won't help him any." I feel the doctor staring at me as I open my watery eyes.  
"W-what? He-'s gonna live?" I hear my pitiful voice say, as I hiccup from crying.  
The doctor nods solemn. "He's a very lucky man." The doctor says.  
I smile through my tears. My brother, the fighter.  
"Y-yes I will donate blood." I say, signing the clip board in his hand.  
There wasn't another answer in my mind. I was going to donate my blood to him, if it was going to help him. Oh God, I can't believe he's alive! Do I get to see him? I follow the doctor the exam room.  
"We gotta warn you though, he's not in the right state, right now." The doctor says as I roll up the sleeve to my white t-shirt. The joy I was feeling escapes me.  
"We found cuts on his body, deep ones." He continues and I close my eyes.  
"Also some cigarette burns..ect ect. If you want we can keep him here." He says, noticing the frown on my face.  
"No." I say, my voice loud.  
"That's okay, I will take care of him." I vow, as I put my hand on the table. I watch as he puts the needle in it. He turns on the machine, I feel the blood leaving my body in small doses.  
Stefan was not staying here, I was going to fix my mistakes from the past. I was going to take care of him, no matter how fucked up he is. I was going to bring him back to himself, somehow. I wasn't going to give up, until he returns to the lively boy he used to be. So full of light and promise before the army stripped him of who he was.  
I swallow back the lump in my throat, wiping away the tears with my free hand.  
"I need you brother." I whisper, hanging my head down, so weak from all these bombs hitting me about Stefan.  
I look over at the pouch of blood, hanging on the machine. All that blood for my little brother, all to make him better. 

**Stefan**

I wake up groggily, my hands tied to the bed. Rushes of last night flood through my mind.  
The burns on my skin from all the times they had to re-jump my heart. I groan, trying to wiggle of of the ties, thrashing until I feel the ropes cut into me.  
"LET ME OUT OF HERE." I yell into the empty room.  
thrash, feeling the rope burn against my skin.  
I see a nurse pass by the door.  
"HEY, LET ME OUT OF HERE." I growl, my forehead sweating from moving around so much. My vision blurring in and out from the tiredness.  
I groan, as I feel someone enter the room. My vision blurring.  
"Stefan, there's someone here to see you." The doctor says, and I growl at him.  
"YOU TIED ME UP, WHY?" I shout in rage, struggling to keep my eyes open.

"WHY DID YOU TIE ME?" I yell, thrashing around on the bed, while the rope burns sting my wrists.

I groan in the pain it is giving me.

"Stefan.. calm down." My ear perk up as I hear my brother and his firm voice, calm me down a little.

"Remember, breathe." He says, and he's standing right in front of me, showing me how again.

I take a few deep breaths, the first three are shaky.

"Good." I hear him say as he sees me taking those much needed breaths.

I feel my heart beat begin to slow down, the rushing of blood leave my head.

My vision clears and I finally see Damon's face, his eyes wet, with tears, his mouth smiling at me, though it doesn't quite reach his eyes. If only I could reach out and touch him just for a second, it'd mean the world to me. But I can't. And the anger returns.

I turn towards the doctor with the silver spectacles.

"Why did you tie me up?" I growl.

He removes his spectacles to clean them.

"Well you tried to attack our nurse with a pen. Do you remember I had you sign some things after we saved your life and you almost stabbed it in her jugular?"

Suddenly flashes go off in my head, to where I almost stabbed the nurse, my hands shaking as I drive the pen into her neck, nearly missing her because the doctor grabbed me at the last second, her eyes screaming with fear and her heart beat fast against my hand where I grabbed her neck.

I shake my head of these images and twitch a little.

Damon looks at me.

"You're going to be fine." He mouths to me, and I just shrug a little, not believing he was telling the truth.

"Well let me go." I say, turning towards the doctor.

"That's up to your brother." He replies, looking over at Damon.

Damon looks at me determined.

"Untie him." He says, sitting down on a chair next to my bed.

"Damon, no I could hurt you." I say, changing my mind when I think about all the awful thing I've done leading up to this point, tears prick my eyes as I shake my head.

He ignores my pity look and looks at the doctor again, who hasn't moved from the spot.

"Untie him!" He yells at the doctor, and he scrambles out of the room to find some scissors.

"Damon, no don't untie me, please." I beg, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from crying.

"I'm not giving up Stefan, no matter what, whenever you go to far I'll be the one to pull you back, you know why? Because you're all I have." He says, staring at me, such hope in his eyes for me, the fucked up brother.

"Yeah, well. I don't deserve that." I say, shaking my head.

"I know what it's like Stefan, losing control, it hurts.. it hurts to think about how I almost left for dead on that battlefield, how I ignored all the signs so you wouldn't be mad at me before we parted ways. Stefan, I know what it's like to get these flashes in your head, the hear the metal bullets whiz by, your heart racing as you try to sleep, but you're running in your sleep, trying to get away from the ugly truth, and you feel like there's no hope left.. I know what that is like. He says, as the doctor comes back in with the scissors to cut my bonds.

Damon stands up and puts his hands out.

The doctor looks skeptical, at him.

I watch as Damon shakes his hand at him.

"You're not doing this." He says in a gruff voice, as he yanks the scissors out of the doctor's hands.

The doctor shakes his head and leaves the room.

Damon turns towards me, the scissors in his hands.

"Do you trust me?" I whisper, biting the inside of my cheek harder, I begin to taste blood.

"How can you trust me, after all the horrible things I've done." I whisper as he grabs my hands, as gently as he can. The rope burns still there.

He cuts the tight rope on my wrists, they fall down at my lap and I look up at him to see his eyes shining.

I rub my wrists with my hands closing my eyes, amazed at all the strength and hope my brother has in even after everything I've done, he still has my back.  
Damon comes up to me and grabs the side of my face, as I open my eyes.  
"You're going to be okay." He says, as I sink back on the bed, exhausted from today's events.  
"Hey, go to sleep now." He says, tucking me into the bed like he used to do when we were kids, I take the time to realize how safe and warm I feel right now.  
I feel my eyes drooping, I try to fight it but Damon lays his palm over mine.  
"Hey, sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." He promises me, as he sits in the chair besides my bed, his palm never leaving mine.  
I feel my eyes begin to droop again and I barely nod before I feel the world go black around me, thinking of simpler times.

I'm a seven year old again, Damon is 13.

he's sitting down on mother's porch swing. I run up to him and grab his hand, trying to pull him out.  
"Hey, hold your horses." He laughs, and I pout when he doesn't budge.  
"Damon." I whine, pulling harder.  
"Stef, why are you pulling me?" He chuckles, his blue eyes showing amusement.  
"You promised me you'd take the training wheels off my bike!" I remind him, still tugging on his warm hand.  
He taps his chin with his free hand, lightly smiling down at me.  
"Hmmm I suppose I did." He agrees, standing up.  
"Come on! I'll race you! Last one there gets a rotten egg." I laughed, as my feet start a steady pace down the porch stairs, to the garage.  
Damon runs after me, slowing down on purpose.  
I laugh and look behind me, the sun beating down on me, making me feel warm.  
"I'm gonna get you!" Damon yells as he picks up his speed.  
But I'm almost to the garage, I run as fast as I can ignoring the burn in my small legs.  
Just as I'm about to reach the red garage door he swoops me up in his arms, throwing me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.  
"Got you!" He yells, laughing as I beat on his back with my tiny fists.  
"No fair. You're bigger." I yell, pounding on his back.  
He sets me down on the ground, still laughing, his cheeks red.  
I crinkle my nose at him, a small glare on my face from the hot sun.  
"Cheater." I say as I blow a raspberry at him.  
He touches his chest in mock offense.  
"I didn't cheat. I'm just better." He says, tickling my sides.  
I laugh, swatting his large hands.  
"Stop it Day!" I say, running to the back of the garage.  
"Say I'm the best!" He says, running after me and tickling me.  
"Never!" I scream, ducking in between his legs and escaping him.  
He chuckles, turning around and picks me up again.  
I kick him in the stomach, as a joke.  
"Oof." He groans in pain, holding his stomach.  
"Damon?" I ask, as I stop smiling, a frown settling on my young face.  
"I'm okay." He assures me as he sets me down.  
"Let's get you riding with the big kids." He says as he goes into the garage bringing out my rusty bike.  
I sit down on the grass, watching him.  
His deft hands unscrew the training wheels, fast, setting them on the ground. His face in pure concentration as he walks, sweat dripping on his brow.  
"Damon, is it done yet?" I ask, as he unscrews the last one.  
"My, my someone's impatient." He comments, rolling his eyes as he sets it on the ground.  
"All done, your majesty." He teases me, as he put the kick stand on my bike.  
"Yay!" I clap my hands in glee as I run the the bike.  
"No so fast, little man. Where's your helmet?" He asks me, giving me a pointed look.  
"Aw Damon, helmets are boring none of the other kids wear them." I groan as he pulls out a helmet from the garage and plops it on my head.  
"I don't care what the other kids are doing. You're not getting hurt." He says in a stern tone and buckles the strap under my chin.  
I still pout but stop when he swats my butt, it doesn't hurt but it gives me a fast attitude adjustment.  
"Now, go be a big boy." He says as he pats my helmet.  
I run over to my bike and kick the kick stand up, positioning myself in a comfortable place.  
I look over at Damon and see him watching me, a huge smile on his face.  
I sigh deeply, two feet on the ground, steadying the bike.  
I'm uncomfortable and I see Damon furrow his eye brows at me.  
"Damon... I need help." I whisper, looking down. I couldn't do this without him. He jogs over to me, kneeling down.  
"Are you okay?" He asks, putting a hand on my shoulder.  
I nod, looking into his blue eyes.  
"Do you think you... could help me?" I ask, nervous.  
He smiles at me, getting behind me his hands on my waist, steadying me as I lift my feet off the ground.  
"You can do it, Stef." He says, my heart racing with fear as I close my eyes.  
"You're going to be okay." He assures me.  
I nod, turning my head towards the path in front of me. The concrete sparkles in the harsh sun.  
"Ready?" He asks, and I nod my head vigorously, wanting to prove to him I could do something on my own, finally.  
"Set..." He whispers, steadying me.  
"Go!" He says giving me a huge push, the wind sends chills down my spine as it ghosts through my body.  
I put my feet on the pedals, peddling as fast as I can.  
I hear Damon cheering in the back ground, his loud voice vibrates in the sky as adrenaline pumps through my veins.  
I smile and laugh, lifting my head up.  
I was doing it! On my own. I turn my head back and see Damon giving me a thumb up, the biggest smile on his face as he watches his brother pedal his way to freedom.  
"Go Stefan!" He yells and I race to the end of the path but suddenly I lose my footing and go crashing into the concrete, my elbow is in pain as I cry, it feels wet against the hot concrete. I know it's blood. I hear footsteps running to me as I cry.  
"Stefan, are you hurt?" Damon's alarmed voice asks me.  
I shake my head, crying on the ground.  
"Hey, come here." He says as he scoops me up into his arms.  
I cry into his shoulder, as he checks my elbow.  
"It's okay. It's just a scrape." He says, rubbing my back, soothingly.  
"You're going to be okay." He adds, titling me up to face him.  
I shake my head and start to bury my head in his chest again but he stops me, as he wipes my crocodile tears.  
"I wanted to be independent for once." I whimper, my lips trembling.  
"You are, you did a great job." He reassures me, smiling as he dries my tears with his hanker chief.  
"But let me tell you a secret." He says, handing me the hanker chief and I just nod, staring intently into his eyes.  
"Even the best fall down some times." He says, smiling as he wipes away some more tears.  
I wake up with a start, my hands clenching Damon's not wanting to wake up, he must of think I had a nightmare but it's much worse. It was a beautiful dream, and I didn't want to wake up to this harsh reality.  
"Stefan, are you okay?" He asks, still holding my hand.  
I nod, holding back tears.  
"I'm going to go ask the nurse for some soup.. I know clam chowder is your favorite.. I saw some in the cafeteria.  
I nod, lost in thought.  
"Alright, I'll be right back." He says, standing up and letting go of my hand.: I look up at him, nodding.  
"Try not to get in too much trouble when I'm away." He says, his eyes flicker with joy for a second.  
I nod again, playing with my hospital band around my wrist as he exits the room. 

**Damon.**

I'm holding Stefan's hand as I watch him drift off to sleep. The first thing I notice is how at peace he looks while he sleeps, sure there are still black circles under his eyes but his facial expression doesn't seem so burdened anymore, there's no more pain.  
I put my head down, praying to God he doesn't get more nightmares tonight and just a peaceful sleep.  
He looks so much younger now when at rest, a slight smile of some sort on his face.  
: He doesn't even shift in his sleep and I watch him to make sure he doesn't start thrashing but I don't think he will because his hand is relaxed in mine. I wonder what he is dreaming, it must be good things if he is so at peace right now. I feel a smile on my face, happy that this seemed to be true for now.  
I'm about to remove my hand from his until he clutches it, almost to say please don't let go. So, I keep my hand in his even after he opens his eyes.  
"Hey, are you okay?" I whisper, watching him.  
He nods, seems to be lost in his thoughts.  
I nod too, not really believing him but with the day that he's had I don't want to push him.  
You need to eat Stefan, you're a skeleton. I scold him in my mind as I suggest that I go get him some soup. He nods immediately and I stand up exiting the room, taking the elevator to the cafeteria.  
I get out and walk down the hallway to the cafeteria. It's plain and white, typically hospital cafeteria.  
I push open the glass door and go to the soup selection, looking for Stefan's favorite.  
They have it and I'm so happy because I think it will cheer him up. Stefan always loved his food, even as a kid. He would sneak in the cupboards at night and I would catch that little rascal, swatting him with my hand. And after he would cry I sit him on my lap and give him a stern lecture but I always let him have the damn candy. I smile at that memory, taking the bowl of soup from the nurse, walking back upstairs.  
I came back to the room, soup in my hand.  
I catch my breath as I see him sleeping in his bed again.  
I walk up to him quietly, shaking his shoulder gently.  
"Stef.. hey, wake up." I say softly, smoothing back his greasy hair.  
He groans, furrowing his eyebrows.  
"Go.. away." He mumbles, swatting my hand.  
"Stef, I got your favorite." I say, holding it out to him.  
But he just turns away.  
"I'm not hungry." He says, switching to the other side of the bed.  
"Don't be stubborn." I scold, sitting down next to him.

But he rolls his eyes and puts his blanket over himself.  
I sigh deeply.  
"Stefan." I shake him, not being nice anymore.  
"Eat, come on." I say, trying to rip off the blanket but he holds it tighter then me.  
Stefan." My voice rising as I tug on the blanket.  
He uncovers his face from the blanket glaring at me.  
I grab a spoonful of soup, putting it in his direction.  
But he just "hmpfs." me again and turns away.  
"Come on, in goes the plane." I say, trying the baby approach because I'm growing very impatient.  
He rolls his eyes again.  
"Seriously?" He says.  
"Give me that damn spoon." He says, reaching for it but I push his hand away.  
"No." I say, shaking my head.  
"I want you to eat all this soup and I know you won't." I say, looking at him.  
"Well, I'm not six, Damon" He says, jutting out his chin like a six year old.  
"Your attitude says otherwise." I mumble and he raises his eyebrows at me.  
"Look.. you fed me once let me return the favor." I say, looking into his eyes, pleading that this would work, that he would eat a full meal and not throw it up.  
He stays quiet for a moment, and then shakes his head.  
"I can't believe I'm agreeing to this." He mutters.  
"Alright, feed me. But no more airplane." He says, opening his mouth.  
I smile, spooning the soup in his mouth, he holds it in his mouth, probably afraid to enjoy such a trival thing.  
Stefan finishes half the bowl and then refuses to eat. I watch as sleep takes him over and he snuggles up into his blanket, laying his head on his pillow.  
"Day?" He asks, his voice sleepy and his eyes barely open.  
I sit down in the metal chair next to his bed, watching him.  
"Yeah, Stef?" I ask, taking the bowl of soup off his lap and setting it on the table next to him, afraid he'll spill it in his sleep.  
"Will you be here when I wake up?" He mumbles, his face relaxed.  
I take his hand in mine, gently.  
"Of course, brother. I'm not going anywhere."  
His lips upturn into a small smile, it's not a grin but it is genuine and it makes my heart leap for joy that I made him smile today. After everything he went through today.  
I sit back on the metal chair, ignoring my aching back because I had to be there for Stefan, right now, no matter what.  
I won't let this depression take him away from me like I did in the past, I was fighting for him, no matter what.  
He is my brother, my blood, and I couldn't imagine living in this world without him.

I watch as he slowly drifts, his smile turning into a peaceful look. I smile also, crossing my arms over my chest.  
I feel the nurse tap me and I realize I must have dozed off, I look up at her, my neck aching from leaning it against the metal chair.  
"The doctor needs one more blood transfer." She says, handing me the clip board.  
I stare at it dazed, signing the form.  
I get up and run my fingers through my messy hair, I knew I looked terrible, I hadn't showered or anything. But I didn't care about those things, Stefan was more important.  
I follow her to the room and sit down on a comfier chair. She cleans the needle and grabs my arm, gently wrapping it so the blood will flow down quicker.  
She flicks my arm to make sure I am ready and inserts the needle, turning on the machine that sucks the blood away.  
After a couple of minutes I feel dizzy as I watch the blood bag fill up.  
This is all for Stefan. I remind myself as the nurse hands me some crackers after she takes the needle out pressing a cloth to the indent she made.  
"Thanks." I mumble, eating the crackers, the crumbs stick to my lips.  
"Do you want anything else?" She asks, patching me up.  
"Maybe some water." I say, running my fingers through my hair.  
She nods and leaves the room after advising me to stay seated.  
A million thoughts run through my mind, mostly excitement that this is last bag of blood Stefan needs to feel better and then he can go home and see my son, whose middle names was his uncle's.  
I smile at the thought of that, even if I am fearful we will never get the true Stefan back, though I see bits of his old personality coming back.  
Dammit. I better get back, he's probably already awake and asking for me.  
I go to stand up and I almost fall over on the floor.  
They must have took a lot of blood.  
I sigh and sit back down frustrated I can't just get up and go see him.  
Suddenly on cue the nurse rushes into the room.  
"Your brother locked the door we cant get into his room." She says frantically but I just wave my hand at her.  
Stefan the jouster. I mumble as I get up, walking out the door and back to his room. There are doctors in white coats surrounding the wooden door. Their banging and yelling and telling Stefan to open the door.  
I push them aside, tapping on the door.  
"Stef, it's Damon. Open the door." I say, standing back from the door.  
I hear a click and know he unlocked it the door swings open and Stefan stand there in his hospital gown, a huge smile on his face.  
"Stefan that's not funny." I scold him, patting his back.  
"Oh come on Damon. Aren't you glad I feel better?" He laughs, as I lead him back to bed.  
I hope so. I want to say, but decide against it. He was finally in a good mood and I didn't want to ruin it with my negative comments.  
He goes back into the bed, putting his covers over him.  
I sit down on the chair next to his bed.

Damon glances at me, I just shrug my shoulder a little bit, I wasn't sorry for what I did.

I cross my arms over my chest, matching his glare.

"What? Would you prefer me broody and miserable?" I ask, watching as he uncrosses his arms.

He shakes his head, making me smile a little bit.

"No, Stefan. I don't want you to broody and miserable, even though you are twenty-four seven." He says, standing up, as I lay back on the bed.

"Where were you, anyway?" He asks, pulling the blankets over himself, the open window sending chills in the entire room.

I'm almost scared to tell him, that he'll scold me for being such an idiot. I decide it's time he knew the truth.

"I had to give another blood sample for you.. it's the last one and I'm sure we can go home after." He says, as he clears his throat.

I frown a little, shaking my head.

"Why would you even give your blood?" I ask as I feel anger rise up inside me, he didn't need to do this, I didn't want to be saved, couldn't he see it was better if I was dead? I didn't want to live a moment longer on the earth.

"Stefan, you know I would do anything for you, don't argue with me right now." He says, standing up.

"What's done is done." He adds, looking into my green eyes, his eyes masking his pain.

I scoff, rolling my eyes. "I know you would, Damon." I say, sincerely.

"But what? You don't want to live anymore?" He asks, looking at me, and for a second I'm caught off guard by his bluntness.

I nod a little, playing with the little bracelet on my wrist.

"Well, too bad. You don't get to waste your life. I know you don't think this, but one day things will be okay, again. You'll get through this, like we get through everything, Stefan.

"One day at a time." I finish for him, smiling lightly at the speech he's giving me. It's the speech he always gave me after my panic attacks took over, after he saved me again.

He nods, patting my shoulder.

"Exactly." He says, looking away from me for a second. I study the bandage on his arm, where they took the blood, I was in awe he did this for me, even though I didn't want it.

"You remember when you told me that you knew I'd survive everything? The war? The pain? Losing you? Well, now I'm here to say you'll survive it too, you're a fighter Stefan, you always have been." He says with passion in his voice, and for a second I feel tears in my eyes from his compassion. I can't argue with him that I am an fighter, because he is right.

I just nod, unable to speak.

He smiles lightly and takes my hand again, turning it over to reveal the scars, some fresh, some faded.

"And these scars, well their battle armor, showing you the things you survived, up until now." He says with certainty in his voice, and I stare at them. I remember each one, all the pain I inflicted on myself during those miserable months, he did have a point, I never tried to kill myself, perhaps I could be saved.

"Like I said, I'm here to pull you back, little brother." He says, keeping my hand in his. My hands shake in his, but his touch soothes them, I feel tears stain my cheeks.

"T-together?" I whisper, looking into his blue eyes. The intent of my words meaning we were going into this battle together, we were going to come out alive, from our personal hells.

He nods, a brave smile on his face.

"Together." I confirm, letting go of his hand.

"Now I'm going to go find the doctor, stay put and for the love of God Stefan, no more tricks." He says and I give him my best cheeky smile, even though two seconds ago I was in tears. It felt good, Damon having hope in me, believing in me while I could barely carry myself.

I watch him leave, scared to leave this hospital, but I didn't belong here, I belong with Damon, his family, his little boy back home, who Damon told me his middle name is named after me.


	13. I'd Be Lost

_**Damon**_

 _We check out of the hospital and I help Stefan into the car, careful of his bandage, I throw his duffel bag in the back, starting the car, we drive in silence, as he looks out the window, lost in thought. I hope he believed those words I had told him today, I was going into this, together with him, and we would come out in one piece._

 _I drive to the house, stopping the car in the driveway, Katherine runs out to meet me, I hold her in my arms, and she's smiling against my cheek._

" _It's about time you came home." She whispers, looking at me._

 _I smile, caressing her cheek, her smile begins to fade._

" _How is he?" She asks, crossing her arms over her chest._

" _He'll live." I say in determined tone, I notice he is not out here with me._

" _Stefan?" I ask, walking to the truck as Katherine creeps behind me._

 _I see Stefan fell asleep in the passenger seat, his head against the back of the seat, he looks so at peace, I don't have the heart to wake him._

 _Katherine steps in front of me and glaces at him._

" _Oh my god, Damon. He's so skinny." She whispers, turning around and looking at me._

" _I know." I say in a sad tone._

" _Well wake him up, I made dinner." She says, sounding accomplished._

" _My wife, making dinner?" I tease, grabbing her by the waist, she giggles and leans her forehead against mine._

" _Yes, I even made you and Stefan's favorite." She confirms._

" _You didn't." I say, smiling._

 _She nods, pulling me by my shirt._

" _Come on in, Mr. Salvatore." She purrs, leading me into the house._

 _I go into the house and see Grant in his crib, he must of grown when I last saw him because he looks bigger, I pick him up, kissing his nose._

" _Hey, buddy." I say, holding him carefully in my arms, it felt great to have my son in my arms again._

 _I sniff the air, it smells like pasta, she wasn't lying she indeed cooked Stefan and I's favorite. I set Grant back down in the crib._

 _I get to the kitchen to check on it, it looks delicious and I feel my mouth watering at the sight of the pasta._

 _She giggles and puts a lid over the pot, she wags her finger at me._

" _You can eat as soon as Stefan comes in here." She says, and a frown a little, as she smiles._

" _I missed you." She confesses, walking closer to me._

" _I missed you, too." I say, pulling her into my arms, she sighs into them, content._

" _I talked to Elena today and she said she wants nothing to do with Stefan."_

 _I shake my head._

" _They'll get over it." I promise, stroking her hair._

" _I hope so my sestra can be very stubborn." She frowns as she looks up at me._

" _Just like her big sister." I say with a smile as I kiss her forehead, hoping it will calm her down, I didn't like her when she was upset._

" _Now go get your brother so we can eat, I'm starving." She says, as she walks away and I pinch her butt, laughing as she whirls around, to face me again._

" _I can't wait for desert." I wink at her, before she leaves the kitchen._

 _I sigh and walk outside from the back of the house, to my car, I see Stefan still sleeping._

 _I open the car door and gently shake his shoulder._

" _Stef.. wake up, we gotta eat." I say gently._

 _His eyes flutter open a bit and he yawns, stretching out._

" _Where are we?" He asks, looking at me._

" _At my house, I forgot to tell you Katherine and I are renting an apartment."_

" _Oh, great." He says, unbuckling his seat belt, he reaches in the back and grabs his duffel, putting in on his back._

 _I watch as he gets out of the car, heading into the house, I follow right behind him, he steps into the house, looking around._

" _I know it's not much but it beats mom and dad's." I say, following him in._

 _He nods in agreement._

" _How are they by the way?" He asks, looking at the photographs on the wall, I notice one is missing because it fell to the ground during Katherine and I's foreplay._

 _I think about the question, carefully choosing my words._

" _Well, we don't talk often." I admit but Stefan just shakes his head, signifying he doesn't want to talk about it._

" _I want you to meet someone." I say, clearing my throat._

 _He looks up at me finally, his eyes clouded with uncertainty._

" _Are you sure?" He asks, biting his lip._

" _I never been more sure in my life." I answer, knowing he won't hurt my son._

 _He clears his throat and nods._

" _Okay." He finally says, walking with me to the nursery._

 _Stefan creeps in behind me, his eyes go wide as he sees Grant sleeping in the crib, he licks his lips, nervous, as he tugs on his sweater._

 _I put my hand on his back._

" _It's okay Stefan, do you want to hold him?" I ask him, he nods._

 _He sits in the rocking chair, his foot doing a nervous twitch, I pick Grant up carefully, supporting his neck, Grant nestles in the blankets, barely aware of the change of place. I smile and look at Stefan, he holds out his arms, his knee bouncing up and down._

" _Stefan, it's okay." I reassure him before handing him Grant, slowly his knee stops bouncing so I bend down and put Grant into his arms, I watch as Stefan studies him up close, his finger touches his soft head, going down to his eyes, he's at awe that he even exists probably._

 _Stefan glances up at me, reassuring me that I can let go and he has this._

 _I let go and watch as Stefan cradles him in his arms, tucking his fuzzy green blanket higher on his chin._

 _Grant barely fuses as his tiny fingers reach out and latch onto Stefan's large finger._

 _I hear a sniffle and I see Stefan crying, his tears falling to the floor._

" _Hey, Grant." He whispers, stroking Grant's tiny finger with his hand._

" _I'm so glad I can finally meet you." He whispers, as the tears fall down, he sniffles a little, probably over come with emotion over the fact that I have a son._

" _You're so beautiful." He whispers again as Grant coos a little, opening his blue eyes to Stefan's green ones._

 _He starts moving around and Stefan laughs through his tears._

" _You're a strong little guy, just like your daddy." He says, smiling through his tears, my heart beats in pain, this was the first genuine smile he had since he came back from the war._

 _I smile along with them, Grant sneezes, and Stefan laughs._

" _Bless you." He exclaims, reaching up and wiping Grant's tears with his sweater._

 _I'll leave you two alone." I say, walking out of the room and next to my wife.  
Words can't describe how happy I am that he is taken a liking to Grant.  
I smile as I wrap my arms around Katherine's back.  
She giggles a little and leans against me swaying with me.  
"You're in a great mood." She observes and I smile against her hair.  
"Stefan and Grant are getting along more then I expected. Plus, my wife cooked my favorite meal. Why wouldn't I be in a good mood?" I ask, kissing her neck.  
She leans back against me, smiling.  
Suddenly Stefan comes in holding Grant and I groan as she pulls back, her eyes land on Stefan, she's smiling though.  
"It's great to see you Stefan." She says sincerely, and I smile at them.  
"Really good to see you too, Katherine." He nods, faintly smiling at her.  
"And it's great to finally meet this little guy." He says, smiling more, as he gestures to a sleepy Grant in his arms.  
His comment makes my heart swarm with joy, as I watch my brother smile, something I wasn't sure I would see ever again.  
"Well, I'll fix you a plate and we can get eating,yes?" Katherine asks, eying me.  
I nod my head, smiling as she leaves the room, preparing us dinner.  
Stefan furrows his eyebrows, while holding Grant, looking up at me.  
"What?" I ask, glancing in his direction.  
"Nothing... you've turned Katherine Pierce into a house wife." He says, and I laugh at his comment and nod, licking my lips.  
"Well, she's turned me into a family man." I admit to my brother, watching as his face lights up but slowly fades in the process.  
"You should talk to her." I say, laying a hand on his shoulder, reading his mind. I know he was thinking about Elena.  
"No, she wouldn't want me Dam. I'm so messed up." He starts to say but I cut him off with a frown on my face.  
"So am I, I was as scared as you are right now when I returned from the war, not understanding what was happening, spacing out on random moments, unable to carry a conversation, sweating in the middle of the night dreaming of the war I left behind, it is hard Stefan, but Kat she welcomed me with open arms, and I know Elena misses you, she told Katherine a week ago, when they talked. So yes, talk to her. She's your real shot at happiness." I advise, patting his shoulder.  
He sighs deep, contemplating my words, it's times like this I wish I could read minds, Stefan wasn't very vocal about his problems and I hated that.  
"I guess so." He finally mumbles, looking uneasy and I sigh, nodding my head.  
We'll talk about it later, understanding he didn't want to bother with it right now.  
Stefan hands me Grant, running his free hand through his hair while Katherine announces dinner.  
I stare at him, a light smile on my lips.  
"And you better eat or I will feed you." I promise but Stefan laughs lightly and shakes his head walking out of the room. I follow him, overjoyed that he is finally here, and I get to have dinner with him, see him, even touch him. I walk out to the dining room with Grant, I gently set him down in his bassinet, sitting down at the long wooden table where Stefan and Katherine are stuffing their faces.  
I look at them, laughing lightly as I break the bread on my plate taking a bite.  
"Wow Kat you really out done yourself." Stefan says, complimenting her on the meal.  
She smiles, forking pasta in her mouth.  
"Thank you." She says, covering her mouth, because it's full of food.  
I chuckle at them, and eat the pasta.  
During the meal Grant starts crying and Stefan immediately jumps up, saying he's going to get him. Katherine and I sigh in relief, as he leaves the room. _

( **A/N: oh my gosh I love writing Stefan and Grant, reminds me of me and my little brother! Review and rate?)**


End file.
